2012-09-15 - 12:32 p.m.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel these days. Bewildered? Cold? Demotivated?
Hmm, it's probably the combination of all three above. I feel like I keep on bouncing off from one place to another without really fitting in. Home, work, other places...like, 'The Sanctuary' for example. Well, it used to be T's apartment - which is soon to be opened for another new tenant when the owner Cindy returns to Jakarta. She's coming to Jakarta sometime at the end of this month.
Yikes.-__'-
I still haven't successfully sold the rest of his stuff, most especially the bed. What am I going to do now? I know that T only wants me to do my best here. He's not pushy, unlike what some people have thought of him.
Still, I don't want to fail him.:( I don't want to fail this. I really haven't done anything right lately. Home is still The Twilight Zone - the isolated castle I hardly recognize anymore. I know that my time is running out. The clock keeps ticking. My sister's third baby is due in January. No news about anything from Bali yet.
And I'm still stuck in here...-__'-
I could move in with a friend before that for a while. I just don't want to put up with any negative comments about 'why' and how selfish and heartless I am about doing such things to my own family.*rolls eyes* After all, this is Indonesia. Forget it, okay? I have to do this carefully, without inviting over all sorts of riot at the moment. You know, nosy people who think they know what's best for you? Ugh!
Right now I'm mostly just wandering around on autopilot, aimlessly - like a fish inside a bowl...
-__"-...
R.
