2012-03-20 - 11:19 a.m.
I don't know what's wrong with me again these days. I feel like biting someone's head off.:| Maybe I'm tired, but - to be honest with you all - I don't remember the last time I felt this way.
Please, don't tell me there's another ticking time bomb inside of me - waiting to explode. I can't afford to jeopardize another good friendship here.
I know that I sound lack of faith lately, but have you ever felt so sick to death with being good/playing nice to others? It's like, no matter what, you still don't get things easily like other people who tend to break the rules and just get away with anything.
For example, my country's government. (That's nothing new, actually. They have been like that for decades and I'm afraid they're just getting...worse.:|) It's no secret that they're such lucky jerks who go on corrupting. (And no, I'm not afraid if I get arrested for writing this.:| In fact, I don't even give a damn anymore!*scoffs*) The petrol price is getting higher than ever, and they let that affect the public transport fee.*rolls eyes* And they still waste our tax money to buy imported furniture so their office can look...'nicer'.
Speaking of public transport, I am also sick to death of the same old rubbish my own people do everyday.:x It's like, there's no point in queuing and following the rules anymore. People keep pushing each other just to impatiently get their turn to get on the bus. I often feel like punching them in the face whenever they try pushing me aside. Are you in a hurry? Well, so am I, bitches!:x Everybody else is. You're not the only one, so please don't be so bloody selfish. My God, you people just make me sick to death!
"Welcome to the real world, kid. That's just how our country people are."
Thanks, Ma.*sneers* I get that. A lot.
*deep sigh*
I know that's how reality works here. In fact, I've always been aware of it.
Being good/playing nice doesn't mean you always get what you want and anything easily. These days, honesty often gets you laughed at instead of appreciated. Some people say it's a sign of weakness and stupidity. Playing by the rules doesn't always make you a winner, but a victim of some twisted bureaucracy.
Yeah, welcome to the real world.*rolls eyes*
Yes, that's why I am also still a romantically-challenged skeptic. Why? It's just the same old reality that keeps on treating me in this department. Being a good girl/playing a nice girl doesn't mean you'll get noticed right away. There are times when you're just...overlooked. You're (considered) plain boring and less challenging.
That's why I still don't want to give a damn about love, because love has never really given a damn about me. I mean, why bother? What's the bloody point when in the end, I always get the heartbreak?
Still, unless God proves me wrong.
R.
