2010-05-14 - 8:18 a.m.
Lately, I've been having the same, strange dream. It's always been an odd mixture of the good and bad. The nightmarish part always wakes me up.:-?
The dream starts with my meeting with...Josh Groban.(???) No, seriously. I'm not kidding you people.:P I see myself interviewing him, as if I'm some kind of a music journalist. He answers politely with a smile. I'm a fan too, but in that dream, I know how to be professional, friendly, and less intimidating and less threatening. I respect his personal space (although I can't stop admiring his good looks.:D Guys with thick eyebrows are usually so...sexy.*drools* Hehe.*big evil grin*)
At the end of that interview, he gives me an autograph on my notebook page. Someone takes a picture of us. Then I tell him that I sometimes listen to "February Song" and "Per Te" to help me to write these really dark, sad love stories. I don't know why. Although frowning a little, he just smiles and says it's good that his songs can inspire other creative people.
Strange, huh?*big evil grin* Now here comes the twist.
Then I come home to a...dark, gloomy castle.(A music journalist living in a creepy castle? Ha-ha, plain weird.:P) I can tell that the castle belongs to me alone. Nobody lives there but me. I don't know why.
However, I am not alone. I see three strangers all dressed in black at my front yard. The sky is dark, so it must be night-time. The street lights help me to see that they've been vandalizing my front yard - and the front part of my tall, solid castle. Toilet papers all trailing all over, the shattered plants and the stomped grass...
"Hey!" I yell at them and they stop. They turn to look at me. I notice they're putting the hoods of their black jackets over their heads. Their faces are blurred, but I can tell that they're...guys.
"Get off my lawn!" I order them angrily. However, none of them move. To my dismay, they even laugh at me. Something sinister fills the air.
"Why?" one of them talks back coldly. He steps forward and I can see that he's very, very tall - almost towering. He sneers menacingly at me as he says, "We're just waiting for you to let us in."
"After all of this? Are you crazy?!" I want to laugh in exasperation as I gesture towards the mess they've made. "What makes you think I will? Not a chance in hell. You always ruin it! YOU ARE RUINING MY CASTLE NOW AND I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU!!"
There's silence for a while. I realize that I am near tears. I hate that. I also hate that they can always, always tell how I feel - but I can't do the same to them in return. I can't even read their expressions.
It's not fair.:( It's not fair. It's not fair.:'-( I hate it.
"Very well," one of Tall Guy's friends finally states calmly. He turns around and starts peeing on my bushes.
"HEY!!" I try to stop him, but Tall Guys pushes me down. I fall and my hand finds a piece of sharp-edged wood on the ground. As he turns around to join his friends once again, I get up and quickly stab him in the back.
Wait, wait! I think to myself. Something is wrong here. What the hell am I doing?
He lets out a painful cry and drops to the ground. To my horror, I see a puddle of blood starting to form under him. But then his friends start attacking me too.
Somehow, in the middle of the fight, I manage to break an arm. I am surprised that I can be that strong, because I don't just break it. I pop it off of Guy No.2's socket. He is screaming in agony as his blood splatters, making me sick. That moment, I know that I need to wake up. Soon.
Wait, I don't want to do this! But I can't stop myself, like Cynthia Rothrock in her B-listed action flicks. I keep punching Guy No.3 in the face until he's all bloody too.
I don't want to hurt them.:( I just want them all to go away and leave me alone. But why the hell do they always come back?:x
Please, somebody wake me up!
After the second night of that dream, I woke up with an ugly-looking scratch across my forehead. I touched it. Ow.:( It looked as if Sylar (well-played by Zachary "Sexy Zack" Quinto in "Heroes") had tried to kill me but something just stopped him.:P
I had it for two days. People wondered why and my only sensible answer was: "No idea."
Sandro joked that I looked like I'd had a cat thrown at my face and it was learning how to use its claw on my forehead.*big evil grin* Very funny.
Don't worry, it's all gone now.:) Speaking of Sandro, we got to hang out with him last Wednesday night at a nearby KFC. The small but lively party consisted of Mz.D, Gigi, Pitbull, him, and me. He was such a natural entertainer I've never laughed that hard in my adult life. In fact, I don't remember the last time I really did.
Only one thing that bugs me a bit. He keeps saying that I'm being too hard on myself and should give love another try.(Ha-ha, so familiar.*sneers*) He's a nice guy, but I guess it's always easier to say such things to someone like me when you're already engaged and soon to be married to someone. You forget how it is to be alone and heartbroken. I get that. I can't blame him for thinking like that. He's already lucky, that is.
But the deal is still the same. Love must show me its kinder face next time first, then we can start talking about that. Otherwise, I still see it as a mean joke to me. L.P.M.O.
Love Pisses Me Off. Period.
The Author
