2010-05-11 - 8:17 a.m.
Two nights ago, escorted Mom to a wedding. One of her old friends' son got married. I don't know the guy and I'm also still not in the mood to go to weddings these days.:P However, the reasons I sometimes still go are:
1.Free, good food. (Hmm, food.*imitates Homer Simpson*:P)
2.A possible link to be a wedding singer. (I hope, but I didn't get any that night. That would make a great part-time job as well.:D)
Well, I've also anticipated The Question when we ran into Mom's other friends.*big evil grin*
"When?"
"Uh, when what, Ma'am?"
"When is it your turn, dear?"
"My...turn??"
Impatient cackles. "Your turn to get married, silly!"
"Oh." Ah, very typical - too predictable a.k.a. downright cliche. "It's not The Question that counts, but the prayers."
Of course, I'd said that with a big, diplomatic smile on my face. (Actually, I surprised myself by doing that. I hadn't known that I actually could, although - if Pitbull had seen it, she'd have thought it was just my 'infamous, Chesire Cat-like' smile.:D)
Luckily, they'd laughed and agreed, but I knew it was because they hadn't seen it coming.:P I mean, I'm 28 and still single. I get it, I'm no longer a teenager. Most of the other Indonesian women my age I know would probably blush with embarrassment (just because they're still single or their respective boyfriends have never brought it up yet), get seriously defensive (like I used to when I was 25:P), or get seriously and pathetically desperate.("Can you help me find some guy who is still single? Please??" or "How do I make him pop the question?"*rolls eyes*)
But no, not me. I even added confidently, "Don't worry, I'm not afraid. God will send the right person over when it's time. We can't always force to speed the process."
Thankfully, they agreed with that too. Patience is a virtue (and no, I am not using that as a laziness excuse.:| Once again, this is not like buying the right clothes for the right occasions.) Not everything we can always get instantly. Besides, I don't see this as a contest, because it's (supposed to be) much, much more than that.
But then again, I've been through this same old shit before it makes me sick sometimes. The good thing is, I'm just practically all numb about it now. I've learned from experience that there are always, always shallow people who just love picking on you. (Just like, in my sad case, there are always guys who think I'm not good enough for them or too good for them a.k.a. boring as hell and less challenging!*sneers*) It's always my fault, there's something wrong/strange/whatever with me, I'm not feminine enough, I'm too picky, I'm too careful, too kind (what??), etc...
Worst of all, some people said I didn't give the guys a chance. Who? Me?? Ha-ha.*sneers* I am afraid it's often the other way around, but who wants to believe me anyway? So what? Not every girl in this world is an 'alpha-female' (I seriously hate that term:|) inside and out and I get that. Okay?
*huffs*
Never do anything for the wrong reasons, because you'll only regret that in the end. That's my personal motto.
Still, I'm not in the right mood for love, so I'm not pushing myself - not even because of the (DAMN!) age factor. Good things come to those who wait - each in (different, but hopefully still) the right moment. If they don't, maybe it's just not the time yet or not the kind you need in your life. Maybe you deserve something better. Or yikes, maybe you don't deserve them at all because something you've done in the past - intentionally or else. I don't know.*shrugs* Various possibilities can occur. After all, that's just life. The thing is, it is all about making the most of it. If you lose in the end, make sure you die a good, fair fighter - even when nothing left is all that. If you win, make sure you don't let your confidence turn into arrogance, believing that you can get anything you want effortlessly and then take things for granted. Trust me you won't like it so much when the tables are turned.*sneers*
Always plan ahead, but not too far ahead. You don't want to stumble upon a big, fat rock in front of your feet on the way.*big evil grin*
In other words, first things first. That's what I still (choose to) do best. In fact, That's the only thing that matters.
No problem.
The Author
