2010-3-6 - 9:31 p.m.
"Create and (recreate) your destiny through book-reading."
I've read the slogan at Kompas-Gramedia Book Fair 2010 last Sunday in Istora Senayan and had to rearrange it a bit here.:P I thought that was quite inspirative. That's what I still do. If I don't read anything in a day, I might go crazy. Well, sort of. Hehe.*giggles*
I guess that's why I bought two books there, although that wasn't exactly my first intention. I'd wanted to show the editors the first draft of my novel, especially since that was the last day of the fair. (Mind you, I've been busy the whole week and exhausted as well. Plus, the weather's been so freaking hot lately there are times when I choose to stay indoors.:|)
Unfortunately, the editors weren't around because they were sick.:( Thankfully, the staff at the fair was kind enough to give me their contact numbers and e-mail address.:) After that, I just sort of roamed around, checking out one stand after another.
One of the books I am currently reading now is "57 Detik" (57 Seconds) by a Jogjakartan author named Ken Terate. It's a story about a group of teenagers surviving after the earthquake in Jogjakarta, Central Java - which happened in May 27, 2006.
Honestly, I need inspirational books like that to remind me just how lucky I am still.
So, what am I going to do with the first draft of my novel?
I'm going to revise it - when I have the spare time.:) Oh, yes. I am still chasing the same old, childhood dream - no matter what. A hundred people can break my heart, but no one can ever kill me that easily.
It's been a pretty exhausting week, I am afraid. Baby Ganesh has been having flu and also tested positive for asthma. (Yes, it's in both my family and G's.) The whole is also sick, including me.
Somehow, I still choose to stay busy - despite the fact that I actually need more rest these days. I need to keep my mind occupied, so that I don't end up thinking crazy thoughts. I only crash when my body can't take it anymore. That's when I get to sleep a dreamless sleep. No nightmares, no sweet dreams. I don't even need sweet dreams. There's no point in having them anyway when you know you'll wake up crying in sheer, annoying frustration once again - seeing those sweet dreams only stay dreams.
Unfortunately, there was one night when my subconscience just sort of...slipped. I had a strange dream about Dad.
Actually, it all started like a neutral dream. I saw him being healthy again. He was walking, talking, and - most importantly - smiling happily. (Mind you, I haven't seen him smile like that in a very, very long time.) He was also gaining a bit of a normal weight, not too thin like he is still.
The funny thing was that I was back as my chubby, eight-year-old self in that dream. I was even wearing a kiddy dress (I hardly remember if I'd ever had any back then.) We were walking together in the park, hand-in-hand. It was a typical sunny day, with lots of people around us. It looked like a typical setting for a movie about Daddy and Little Girl kind of thing. Strange, knowing that - actually in the real world - he and I were never that close, not even when I was a kid. He's always been the serious, uptight, and temperamental kind of man.
Then suddenly, right in front of us and out of nowhere, came two men all dressed in whites. They both came and took Dad's hands, which made him let go of mine. They asked him to go with them. He turned to me and told me to find Mom. I shook my head and could hear my little, girlish voice saying, "But I want to go with you."
"No, they just want me."
I tried to take his hand again, but one of the men in white suddenly glared angrily - and coldly - at me. He hissed sharply, "Wait for your turn!"
I froze. Dad just obediently let them take him away. Once they were too far, somehow I found my little voice again - this time screaming...louder than ever:
"MOMMY, MOMMY! MOMMY, THEY'RE TAKING DADDY!"
But nobody paid any attention to me in that park, until I woke up in my room - all sweating cold and choking...
The Author
