2007-01-30 - 7:16 p.m.
Alright, so far --- I'm feeling a little back to normal.:)
I feel a bit guilty I didn't pay much attention to Tiger when he'd told me about his novel project two nights ago.*blushes*:( The last time we talked, I'd been rather too exhausted to think and kind of...distracted. No excuses, girl. Your best friend has helped you a lot with your Teenlit novel project before, and now you should return the favour!:|
He didn't come online last night, and I'd tried searching for him this morning.:| Tiger wasn't online, though. Still, it was nice to get to talk to my other pal Al.;) He seems very happy with his new girl now.
*sighs* Oh, well. If I can't find him again tonight (knowing he's usually busy on Tuesday with his classes in Leicester, UK), I'll just send him an e-mail --- telling him that he can send me his novel subplots anytime he needs my help.:)*shrugs* I'll be doing all I can and hopefully even more.
I know, some friends are seriously concerned with my situation here --- and I'm forever thankful for their support and existence in my life.:) I'm well-aware that "someday" will happen, and I have no other choice but to accept that fact and let go. So far, Tiger has been okay with his girlfriend again. (He's told me he wanted to buy her a ring, remember?*grins sadly*)
I know that moment will come, when the two of them will meet in the real world and just be together forever --- like a perfect fairy tale come true.:) When that moment ever comes, I'm sure I will slowly exit the picture and fade into the background --- like a shadow disappearing in the dark. I know he once often said that he'd always need me and remember me, but...who am I trying to kid, anyway? Nothing ever really lasts forever, no matter how good they are.:( Things can change (but will some stay the same? Please??)
When you (finally) have your loving spouse beside you, do you still need your friends? I personally believe that I do (and that's the reason why I'm so afraid to have to ever end up with an overly insecure, jealous, and possessive type of guy. Too scary!:O)
But I don't know about my dear pal Tiger.:| Still, I have absolutely no right to say anything about it. In the end, I only want him to be happy anyway.*shrugs*
*smirks* You know what? Some people here in my country still assume stuff like this only happen to...guys.:P Well, I guess you could say I'm the exception. I still remain his best friend, no matter what.:) I'm also trying my best to be fair to her, but I also want to stay honest as well. It's still hard. But again, it's always up to him anyway.
But I just can't tell him all this strange sadness in me.:( I'm sorry. I won't. Al once said Tiger might've understood if I'd told him the truth, because he was my best friend.
Well, that's the thing.:| I don't want him to feel sad or even sorry for me. After all, my feelings are my own responsibilities, not his. It's not his fault. Love cannot be compelled.
*deep sigh*
Alright, enough with this sappiness.:P
I'd sent my entry about Hoobastank's concert to River and he said he loved it!:D
I called Putri again today, and we'd sort of discussed what we might do on Valentine's Day this year. It's mostly her idea, not mine.:P Like I've already mentioned many times before, I'm not big on Valentine's Day. It's not exactly my kind of day, and I've had several bad lucks with it before.:( But since Putri's birthday is sometime around that certain date, I'd agree to go and do something fun with her, her boyfriend Nemo, and probably our friends as well.:) Just that.
Before we hung up, Putri suddenly asked me this:
"Do you think virginity still matters these days?"
.........................
*blushes*
Well, people can answer that differently. I'm not exactly a moralist, so I just answered based on my own personal perspective and principle.:P She sounded cheerful after that, saying, "Great. Thank God I'm not the only one thinking that."
Okay, now I'm dead curious.:-S Why did she suddenly ask me that? Come to think of it, I still don't know her boyfriend yet --- only from her stories.
God, why am I being this protective to all my best friends?
Alright, no prejudice.:| Wait until I get to meet and be properly introduced to that guy. Besides, Putri's already old enough to take care of herself and make mature decisions.
Meanwhile, I'm still dreading February.:( If The Stupid Draft (RUU APP) is really legalized, then what's going to happen to the women in my country? Only thinking about the scary possibilities of it already drains my spirit...little by little...
Just what the fuck is going on with the government?!:x WHY ARE THEY BEING SUCH PERVERTED HYPOCRITES?!
God, please get me out of here...
:'-(...
The Author
