2006-10-14 - 2:28 p.m.
"Do you still want to wait for her?"
"I have to. I've given all I can for..."
"Do you still want to? I didn't ask if you had to."
I had to seriously shut my eyes at first, before opening them again just to read his answers.:| Long-winded explanations about his sacrifices for her, from selling his lovely Fender Strat. (*snifs*) until...okay, too many to mention here.:( I'm afraid I'm going to cry again today, while I must remain my professionalism at work.*rolls eyes* God, I don't even want to hear that all over again. This is slowly and seriously killing me from the inside.:'-( It hurts me so damn much to know he's in such pain...
"You haven't really answered my question, dear.:) But that's okay. I don't have to know your answer. That question is for you and only you."
"I want to. Because I want her and I love her."
"Okay, then let's see what will happen next February."
"If she ever comes...:("
"Now you sound doubtful."
"I'm even beyond that already...VERY doubtful."
*deep sigh* Now I don't know what else to do or say to him.:( How can I help him? If the worst should happen in the end and he falls apart even harder than before, will I ever be able to even catch his fall? Will I ever be strong enough for something like that myself --- even only as his best friend and soul sister, perhaps?
God, is he still okay somewhere out there?:( Please, let me know. I believe he's under Your Good Care.
I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone here.:| Ever. I'm not trying to prove that I can love him better than she does. No. I mean, who the hell am I anyway? I know better not to, because arrogance surely will get you nowhere.
The Author
