2006-06-19 - 7:09 p.m.
I attended my college friend Mima's wedding reception last night in a government's building in Ragunan. She married a Dutch man named Harold, and she just looked so blissful. I am so very happy for her!:D
I met some of my college friends too there. The married couple Revelino and Indah (a bulky guy with a sweet face and personality, and a petite, fine lady. I admired their beautiful wedding rings...aww!:D) My great fellows Tio, Hamzah, GG, Dodik, and Haris (who showed up with his girlfriend Fitri). My night-out team Gini (who showed up with her boyfriend), Gaby(and her latest boyfriend Anki), Putri Tantia, and a pregnant Shilla (with her husband Jack). The coolest, comopolitan girls like TC, Nina, Lendra, Inta, Illa, and the fun, artistic type like Medina and Achi. My other friends too, like Atun, Nita, Karima, Santi, Sari, Mala, Ira Tulus, Ira "Kajol" (because she's so into Bollywood stuff, hehe :P), Wenny the CSI fan, Tami, and Prima(with her long-term boyfriend Wiwid --- isn't that so sweet or what?;D)
Last night was really fun. I felt like going back to the good, old days all over again. Hanging out with the boys and discussing movies, rock music, pop-culture, and stuff. Going out at night with the girls, or having sleep-overs.:) Making indie films together. Working on college assignments together. Dating, heartache, drama...everything. Sharing dreams. Watching gigs and concerts. Secondhand bookstores, internet and computer rentals. Singing in the college cafeteria right before or after class. Crying in a pair of friendly arms or even holding a troubled friend. Pouting at C's on the papers and grinning at a few B's and even A's.:)
*deep sigh*
If possible, I'd like to go back --- because those days seemed much easier. Just for a while.:( These days, I often watch my dreams crumble to pieces as I try my hardest to grasp for more. RUU APP is a scary ghost lurking around me, waiting for a chance to just steal my freedom and take my breath away. A deadly cause for my claustrophobia.:'-(
I dream of feeling completely safe, wherever I am and whatever I do --- here on earth. Is that too much to ask?
I want to get out of here. I just don't feel safe anymore. I half-joked with Gini last night about us escaping abroad and renting a place together as roommates in Singapore and getting jobs there. Just two girls against the world. I just want to feel safe.
Sadly, I don't even have a freaking passport yet. I have my family to support. I'm still a small-waged, aspiring author.
This isn't just a matter of dreams vs.reality. This is about me wanting to put my dreams into my reality...:'-(
The Author
