2006-05-02 - 7:31 p.m.
I'm having a headache again today.:( Since it's still the beginning of the month, it's probably just my PMS.*rolls eyes* Or maybe it's just the hot weather out there today, a sign for the beginning of the drought season. Oh, how I badly need the rain now...:'-|
And if you're thinking I often use PMS as an excuse to get angry, you'll be seriously mistaken.*big evil grin* My sister does that a lot, so she often thinks she'll be given a priviledge to get angry and lash at people.*rolls eyes* Yeah, right. Anyway, that's not me. I choose to keep quiet. But, PMS or no PMS, I'm still naturally a temperamental.:P
*sighs* God, what the hell am I talking about?:P
It felt so good to talk to Tiger and his girlfriend last night.:) They're my great friends. They agree that captivity sucks like hell (and that's what's possibly going to happen to this country of mine, once the government's seriously legalizing their new stupid laws against pornography --- repressing women by telling them what to do, what to wear, what to consume, how to act, etc. Once again, I'm not into pornography, but this is captivity. Bleh.:P)
I'd rather die a free woman than live in CAPTIVITY...
It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees (Tiger's girlfriend's favourite quote.:D)
I believe I'm not asking too much. I'm not here to compete or even try to conquer guys in every way, no. Everyone has their limits and flaws, and so do I. I badly want to love a guy, but I end up seeing (or even knowing) those who don't even (want to) make me feel safe.:( I don't want to hate, but those male chauvinists in the government have been irritating me and making me feel insecure more than ever. Can't you see? This scares me. Not just that, there are men who 'legalize' infidelity by claiming my own religion permits them having four wives at once --- as long as he can be fair to each. Oh, really?*sarcastic grin* Just who are they kidding, anyway? They're not The Prophet Muhammad. If some women are fine with that here, then it's their thing. But if that ever happened to me (and may God forbid), I'd rather get divorced and just live the rest of my life as a single lady. I mean it and I'm not afraid.:| It's already hurtful.
And I don't want to be easily suspected or accused as a prostitute, just because I happen to walk alone at night outside --- in my own country. And if they ever want to arrest me just because of something I wear, then just shoot me. Let them all just go to hell for being hypocrites and stealing the citizens' civil rights for their sick, twisted fun!:x
I just want to feel safe. I just want to be respected. I don't want my wings clipped. Is it so hard? Yeah, I know too damn well it's not a perfect world. Life's unfair. I get it, okay? It sucks. But I believe I'm not asking for the whole world to be all mine, no. And I don't believe that making a more structured society has always something to do with repressing individual rights. Come on, be fair!
*deep sigh* Damn. I'm afraid I'm getting more and more frustrated by the day this whole month. I'm sorry.:'-( I don't know why, I feel more like a convicted waiting for her sentence of crime she doesn't even commit. This kind of counting is already way too much to bear. Too scary.:(
Go ahead. Call me paranoid. Call me defensive. Call me anything you like, and I don't really care.:P Am I just overreacting? Maybe, but they're also blowing this whole issue out of proportion!:x
Do you think I'm sounding apathetic about the recent situations in my country?*scoffs and sneers* It's funny, someone once accused me for being overly optimistic, just when I thought I'd been trying the only way I knew best to cheer a friend up.
Yesterday, most labours here were making barricades for a long march almost all over this big city. They're also against new laws for The Union about the salary. Great. We're already financially screwed here, and my heavily corrupted government's worried about people's morals.*rolls eyes* Yeah, right. Give me a break.
No patriots without an empty stomach, Tiger said.:P
Well, today's National Education Day.:| Although I'm not a mother yet, I feel concerned as well. Good luck to good citizens around here. I hope your children can still go to proper schools and study to earn more education, despite the heavily tuition fees! Pardon my sarcasm.:( It's just the blues...
The Frustrated Author :(
