2006-04-11 - 6:56 p.m.
I was sooo tired last night.:| My sleep was deep and restless. I had a strange dream again. All of a sudden, I found myself standing all alone in a deserted area. The black, night sky was above me --- completely starless. The street-lights were dimmed.
I looked around and found no one. But then, suddenly a hand went covering my face, blinding my eyes and gagging my mouth all at once I could hardly breathe. I tried struggling all I could, but then another arm was around my waist and the next thing I knew I was being lifted. Then I was being thrown into water and I felt the same hand pushing my head downward. Someone was obviously trying to drown me to death! I felt my hands desperately trying to reach that hand and my legs kicking, but I wasn't that strong. I couldn't breathe. But I was pretty stunned to find my own eyes were shut all the time I was in the water...
Then I woke up in my room. Just like that. No tears, no screaming like what you might usually know in horror stories about a girl having scary dreams...:P
I don't know why I'm even bothering to write this.*giggles* Maybe it's just my overly active imagination I've developed since childhood (especially since watching too many horror stories.:P) But I can often remember my dreams, sometimes including the details. Mom's also like this a lot (perhaps I've inherited her intuition.:P)
Speaking of intuitions, something else my sister's boyfriend Gatot (who works in a local TV station TransTV as a senior reporter) tols me yesterday still scares me. No, it wasn't the palm-reading thing.:P I'm all cool with that.
You see, I haven't heard from Tio again about the freelance-scriptwriting job (since a few months back when I'd had my "Weekend of Tension" as I called it, and we've been mulling over the basic concept for that new TV series over and over --- and I've given a few extra ideas and worked on the pilot script since last year or so.:|) And I believe you can already tell just what I'm so afraid of, perhaps a lot worse than the possibility of me not getting the job itself.
Look, I know Tio's one of my best friends. We've pretty much trusted each other since college, and we've often come up with similar ideas for fiction writings in the past. He's a cool guy and I like him a lot. I admire his creative intuition, intelligence, and intellectualism. He's a true idealist when it comes to art. A rather prefectionist of an idealist.
But...
But I don't really trust his boss. He doesn't seem to like the idea of an outsider stepping into his production house's projects, eventhough he's agreed Tio could invite me in. It's been a common knowledge among the TV people and production houses that this 'thing' happens a lot. They claim to dislike the outsider's idea of a program/show (even after they've invited the creative-but-gullible writers in) and then --- they end up using/stealing things UNDER their NAME!
*deep sigh* My God, I hope it's not going to happen to me.:( I hope that doesn't have to happen to me, because Tio and I are best friends. But if it has to happen, allow me to hate myself for being The Dumb, Gullible Bitch. And Tio will have no choice but to lose my trust.
*gulps* Okay, that really freaks me out.:( I think I've just lost my positivity.
The Worried Author
