2012-02-10 - 12:30 p.m.
Dear 'Abangku',
How are you, dear? I hope you're doing fine. I know you're coming back to Jakarta, but I don't know exactly when. I'm not going to ask you that. You know where to find me. I'm just a phone call, a text, or a click away.
That also means I'm not going to give you this letter. (Unless you happen to read this by accident online, I guess. Well, that would be my bad if this upset you. I hope this won't.) Maybe I'm writing this more for me, like it's part of my daily self-therapy.
If you're wondering how I am at work, don't worry. I'm all good here. I still remember what to do and try my best at it.
I talked to your best friend/soul sister Githa yesterday afternoon online, before I decided to write this. How is she? She's fine, I guess, just a bit busier than usual. I believe she's already told both of us that. (That's why it's difficult to hang out with her lately.)
I don't know, Bang. I get the impression that she's been feeling kind of lonely lately. She even admitted that to me once. She's not the only one, but how about you? Are you lonely too? Are the three of us lost and lonely? Can we meet - at least once - to hang out again someday?
I had a nightmare about you last Monday night and told her all about it. It was so scary that I woke up shivering. In that dream, you were all black and blue - literally. Githa was there, nursing your wounds in silence. I kept asking who had done that to you, but you refused to tell me. Instead, you were crying.
I am still hoping that will stay just a silly nightmare. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'd deal with that if you ever got hurt that way. I know that you're always much bigger and braver than I am - and also how weird this whole thing sounds. Still, I never want that to happen to you. Maybe you don't realize, but I love you too much for that. I'm not calling you 'Abang' for nothing, remember? You're not just a best friend to me, but already like a big brother I never had - although I seldom show you that.
Do you know that she barely gets along with the other girls at work these days, besides Mbak Dewi? I bet she'd told you that once, but she said to me that you didn't get her point. Knowing how sweet you are, I asked her to keep you out of it. You're the kind of person who wants to get along with everybody, even when you don't really like that person. You remind me of my best friends Tiger and Pumpkin. I wish I could be that way too.
I think those other girls are just plain silly. So what if you feel closest to Githa? Even if you were a regular guy who's into girls, I'd still think the same. Their jealousy is stupid.*rolls eyes*
I may not always agree with a lot of things in the world, but I still respect your personal choices. That's the only thing a friend can and should do, right?
I know you still love M. It's just obvious. I don't know about him, though. I've only met him once. For your sake, I hope he's treating you well.
All in all, Githa and I just want you to be happy. You know where to find us, love. See you when I see you.
yours truly,
R.
