2010-01-02 - 6:42 p.m.
I don't remember the last time I thought about this topic. Even if I did, I'm not the only one and that did not only happen once. We all think about it as much as we see it every single day. In fact, it can also happen in split seconds. It's unavoidable. It's (part of) life.
And if I write something like this, I will not be the first and only either. After all, we all find ourselves the need to be reminded of it all over again, in order to take our next (careful) steps. Is it pathological? Maybe. We may keep asking ourselves that as we wish.
We all know that changes come in different shapes and sizes. We live, we grow, and we die. That is a familiar cycle of life. We can also take it from another simple example that has just happened.
We've just celebrated New Year. It's the beginning of 2010. As usual, most of us are filled with such excitement. All we want to do is start everything fresh and new. We make new resolutions with the (same) hope that we will be better and not stuck in the same, old boring mundane routines like clockwork. Deep down, we (want to) believe that it's a sense of our self-control. We believe that's been our destiny to keep on racing against time as we remain struggling to fix our flaws. Pick up our pace before time betrays us, because - in the first place - it's never promised us (true) eternity. It never waits for us. It can always leave us as we blink or turn our backs around.
However, there are times when we keep on repeating the same mistakes. Perhaps that is also necessary and part of the process. After all, we are only human. But oftentimes, we are hardly aware of this one, simple fact about ourselves:
"It is always easy to start a new, better habit. The hardest part is to stick to it while getting rid of the old, bad ones."
It is familiar. Speaking of that, there is also another thing we sometimes refuse to acknowledge.
There is a popular saying: "The only certainty that ever exists is the uncertainty." Whether we like it or not, that is what happens. We can make so many plans and do whatever it takes to make our dreams come true. Of course, we are happy when they do.
But what happens if it is the other way around? What will we do if things don't always turn out that way, no matter how hard we try? What do we usually do? Do we normally feel sad and get mad at the world? Do we angrily exclaim, "How could this happen to me? Why me? What have I done to deserve any of this? I've given all I've got!" Is it true that (most) normal people (are compelled to) react that way? If it is so, then what is the absolute definition or 'normal' then? We do not even possess such absolution as mere mortals.
If we can always welcome the (good) certainty with open arms, can we also do the same thing for the uncertainty? Is it even possible to celebrate the uncertainties in life without feeling too disappointed? After all, life is always full of surprises. They say bear a strong heart and (hopefully) you shall live through it. Because in the end, we'll just never really know. We can never really tell what lies ahead. One can abruptly turn into a public enemy after becoming the number one favourite celebrity. You can splurge one time and then have to scrape from scratch for just a single, decent meal the next. How do you deal with the cruel twist of fate?
Your best friend has promised you that they will always be there. Will you still believe that if there comes a time when both of you are too busy for each other and no longer share the common interests? And how do you deal with someone you love who has a change of heart - or has never felt the same way in return, in the first place?
They say good things come to those who wait. If they don't, maybe you could try approaching them. But if they run away from you, perhaps they're just not meant for you from the very beginning. Maybe it's not because you're not good enough to deserve them. Maybe they don't deserve you. Maybe God is still preparing much better things for you in the future, and it's just not your turn yet. Maybe you need to be more patience. After all, you can never really control the changes that are obviously out of your hands.
How do we survive after these (unwanted) changes? Can we tell ourselves that yes, we have done our best to keep what we think is good for us - but it is now time to let it go? Is it okay to relax just a bit? There is nothing wrong with having an ambition, but it can get deadly if it turns into an (unhealthy) obsession. The words 'ever after' only exist in fairytale books. They say all realists are natural cynics, but what is so wrong about keeping our eyes wide open for the (most) unpredictable? There is always the calm before the storm.
In other words, it is all about maintaining the balance. It is not an easy job to do, but we must be careful in tipping (or not tipping) the scale if we wish to stay sane. If things don't work out the way we want them to, at least we can remember that consuming instant goods aren't always that exciting.
Maybe we can start learning to accept - or perhaps, celebrating - the uncertainty of life. I do not mean to just slack off and do nothing at all. Smart planners always have back-ups. A mattress to catch our fall, saving for the rainy days. Then maybe, we might be able to completely let go of what's never meant to be (rightfully) ours. We may avoid the thought of jumping off the high buildings and malls. Instead, we might just calmly say: "There is nothing wrong. I've just done my part and tried my best. Time to move on."
The Author
