2008-03-27 - 7:42 p.m.
I think I've just begun to have a slight disorientation with time, thanks to my still jobless situation here. I had to correct my previous entry. It was supposed to be a Saturday afternoon, not Sunday.
There. I've finally done it.
What did actually happen on Sunday? I have a little doubt about telling this, but...oh, well.*shrugs* Whatever.*rolls eyes* I've already talked about this with Nick before. (This means I have nothing new to write here for you to read, I'm afraid.:P*smirks*)
My parents fought again --- this time about no enough money for my sister's wedding with that dreadful Gatot on July 6.:( Mom wanted Dad to at least help her figure a way out, but all he ever said was: "I don't know", as if it only meant: "I have no more ideas left. You figure the rest out." Period.*scoffs*
Then she sobbed for over two hours at home, in the bathroom. I was outside eating some cheap snack I bought from a small vendor nearby and sitting alone in the front porch. From the window, I could see him at the dining table, pouring a glass of water for himself. I hated his stone-cold expression.:x How the hell could he pretend that nothing happened? I'd wanted to rush in there and shake him awake, yelling at his face: "Just wake up and stop being an oblivious to reality, you delirious old man!"
But no, as far as I've known all my life, Asian children don't do that to their parents. We're not taught to and I won't, no matter how angry I am.
Anyway, I escaped for a long walk alone. Just me and my shadow under the scorching sun above. Surprisingly, my entire body went a little cold, but I guess that's just what usually happens when you try your hardest to suppress your negative emotions within. Anger, grief, whatever. I didn't want to cry. I hate crying in public. A few familiar neighbours smiled at me and tried to make a small talk. I hoped my fake smile looked convincing enough. I just needed to be left alone for a while. The sound of Mom crying just silently made me tick. I could feel my jaw tighten. It hurt like a bitch.
By the time I returned, everything was dead quiet. Mom was sitting at the dining table, nursing her headache with a cup of coffee. Her eyes were swollen. I said nothing and went straight into my room. I finally managed to choke back my own tears by listening to the radio on my cellphone and reading "Unveiling Claudia" by.Daniel Keyes --- borrowed from my cousin. Good distractions.
That night, Mom and I left home and crashed at Grandpa's with The Almost Twins in Panglima Polim.
By Monday, everything went back to normal.
Thankfully, we had catering orders on Tuesday.
The Author
