2015-01-28 - 4:16 p.m.
My love, there’s been a major setback between us lately. The air is feeling tight and I am stuffed, dying to break free. How can you act like everything’s alright? I miss the air that I used to breathe, ‘though I’m not always sure about you and me. Why are we still here? Our souls entwined, yet also struggling to be freed. I wonder if the world can see how my whole life has been sinking with fear. My love, don’t try to to find me. I don’t even think you will. Her existence between us has made this tough, and so has another one with me. This love is severely poisoned; it has to be killed. I may return, or perhaps I should be gone for good. We have fallen and (been) burned. I think I’ve done all I could. You’ve taken everything I gave, yet this can no longer be saved. My love, I think we should call this whole thing off. This has been long overdue, even when I still can’t imagine being without you. It’s just a matter of ‘when’ before both of us can no longer pretend. Is this the end of our days? Perhaps I’ll have the answer – once we are face-to-face. R. (Jakarta, 27/1/2015 – 5:00 pm)
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