Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

2018-10-18 - 8:03 a.m.

Sometimes you’re the only person in the world that you can really count on. You have no choice but to keep on walking, even on your own. This doesn’t mean you never need anyone else, though. That’s the arrogance talking. Once in a while, you do need other people.

The difference? This time, you’ve accepted the fact that you can’t always rely on them. If they can still help you, good. If not, then it’s still fine. No need for too much drama. Either way, you still have to carry on.

It’s funny how some people claim that they’re tired of working alone. They think getting married is the only solution.

Now, now, don’t you accuse me of being anti-marriage. I’m not, okay? Since in my 20s, my mind has been the same about it:

It’s a huge, life-changing step. It’s not something you decide overnight only because ‘the heat of the moment’. (Whatever that is, seriously.) It’s not something you can use as a mere escape from loneliness. If you look closer, there are still lonely people out there...even in relationships or marriages. Lack of communication, compromise, understanding, or even both and all.

It’s either selfishness or lack of effort and willingness to keep love alive. Anything goes.

There has to be something more than that. It is a serious, hopefully lifetime commitment. It’s a stupid idea to go for it just because you’re either broke, lonely, horny, or all of them together.

Okay, so I’m a cynic to Indonesians who still somehow believe that marriage always leads to fairytale-like, happily ever after. Whatever. Fine by me. There’s nothing new.
I’m a realist. You can see I’ve seen too much ugliness already. Guys who hurt girls with empty promises. Girls being called stupid for believing all too easily, but then paranoid for being (too?) careful. Either way, you can never win.

This is the world where anything goes. Anything can happen to a friendship, relationship, or marriage. Sometimes, it doesn’t even matter how hard you try. Sometimes, it’s only you to pick up the pieces left. Nobody else but you. The more you realise and are at an acceptance with this, the easier it gets.

Human emotions are frail. Their hearts can change. They can break their own promises as fast as they make them sometimes.

Sometimes, you’re the only one you’ve got. Still, hopefully it’s just sometimes...

R.

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!