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2014-10-03 - 2:55 p.m.

It was another regular morning.

On the screen, he was smiling at me. I miss him. I love seeing his smile every morning, just like when I was still living with them.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he warmly greeted me. How are you?"

"Good morning, Dad," I replied and smiled. "I'm okay, thanks. How are you? And how's Ma?"

"Everybody's fine here," he said. Then he peered closely to the screen. "Is that a new outfit?"

"Oh." I looked down at my pink blouse and blue blazer. "Yeah. For work. Do you like it?"

"Honey, you're always beautiful," he assured me. "You know that. It looks good on you."

"Thanks." I felt my cheeks flush. I shrugged. "I just wanna look presentable at work."

"You do look presentable," he agreed. "Professional too. My daughter the successful one."

"I'm just getting started, Dad." I shrugged again. "We'll see."

"I have faith in you, dear," he went on as he nodded. "I know you'll be successful. I can feel it."

That familiar lump started forming in my throat again. I've been feeling that for these past few months.

"Thanks, Daddy," I said quietly. "You know that means a lot to me."

"That's okay." He smiled. "So, when are you coming home? We miss you."

I sighed. God, you have no idea just how much I miss you too!

"I...I don't know yet, Dad," I stammered slightly. "I...I miss you too, but things have been hectic at work. I'll let you guys know as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay." It always breaks my heart to see him so disappointed. "Well, you'd better get going, hon. The office is waiting. You don't want to be late."

"Okay, Daddy." This time, I smiled weakly at him. He was smiling too, but there was obvious sadness in his eyes. "Kisses for you and Ma."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I hung up on him and logged out of Skype. I heard my best friend, who's also my roommate, walk out of our kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"I'm not judging you," she said quietly, "but you know this is not gonna last forever."

"I know." I nodded, not wanting to look her in the eye. I wiped my tears as I walked back into my bedroom. I took off my blazer and blouse, then changed into my uniform - a skimpy, tattered T-shirt.

I stopped at my other outfit for tonight - a skimpy, leopard-printed leotard. Then I put it in my bag before heading downtown into the bar - where I'll be doing my double-shift of waiting tables...and then dancing around the pole at night.

Those are the things I can only get so far, after that company had sacked me a few months ago...

R.

(Jakarta, October 2, 2014 - The Couchsurfing Writers' Club Meeting @Anomali Cafe, from 8:00 to 11:00 pm. Theme: "office / workplace".)

 

 

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