2018-02-28 - 3:57 p.m.
I grew up being laughed at for being (considered overly) sensitive. They said emotions were signs of one’s weakness. You have to always be more rational.
Otherwise, they’d never take you seriously. They’d simply think you’re shallow, stupid, and vain. They’d see you as immature and irrational, unable to control yourself.
Nothing but a weakling cry-baby, they said about how you’d appear to be. No brains, just feelings.
So, I decided to ditch my feelings as much as possible. So they thought I was lame for feeling too much? So they mocked me for being ‘such a girl’? What’s so bloody wrong about being ‘such a girl’? I was a girl. Now I am a woman. I believe my kind exists for much better purposes than how we’ve been treated most of the time.
A weakling? Seriously? Try giving birth, if only you could. Try raising little kids on your own, with a job that doesn’t pay you well enough or not at all. Oftentimes, it doesn’t matter if your husband is around or not. Sometimes it makes no difference at all.
A cry-baby? Really? Well, guess what? The thing is, at least we can still get emotional without physically assaulting others (well, at least many of us don’t) or vandalising properties.
Then again, none of us would like to be stereotyped, so just cut the you-know-what.
I’d tried to be emotionless and more logical. Guess what? I’d grown cold and cruel. I’d felt more abnormal – and even more severely depressed. I never understand why anybody would ever want to do something this impossible.
We’re all humans; we both need our logics and emotions. Maybe each of us has a different capacity of both, but that doesn’t mean those who claim to be more logical than others are always better and far more superior.
I’m way done with such arrogance. (I hate it even worse when fellow women bring each other down through name-calling, like “cry-baby” and stuff.) I’ve decided to embrace both sides of me. That’s how I’d like to complete myself.
Believe me, those who dare call me a weakling, cry-baby are always sorry in the end. Nobody wants to deal with me once I try to ditch my feelings...once again.
Let’s hope for that to never happen.
R.
