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2014-08-30 - 7:35 p.m.

I woke up today to the same old room, in the same old, big house. I pulled the curtains aside, staring outside at the yard. The sun was shining brightly. Kids and teenagers were walking to school, chatting and laughing merrily.

I miss going out. Surprisingly, I miss going to school. In fact, there have been many things � and people � that I�m missing.

Knock! Knock!

I turned around. I automatically said,�Come in�, even when I knew how it would always turn out � a regular routine. A lock being turned, the door open. He came in with my breakfast with that big smile on his goofy, wrinkled face.

�Hey, sweetheart,� he greeted me cheerfully as he put the tray on the table. This time, it was toast with pineapple jam and orange juice. �How was your sleep last night?�

�Okay.� I shrugged, then closed my eyes when he kissed my forehead. I remained rigid, even when he had his big, strong arms around me for quite a while. He felt cold � or maybe it was just me. I don�t know. I try not to think so much these days. I try not to feel.

�You�re so beautiful,� he whispered softly, sending chills down my spine. He smiled down at me. �Go eat your breakfast, okay? I�ve got to go for a while.�

�Where are you going?�

He kissed me, this time on my lips. I kept my mouth shut tightly.

�As usual, it won�t take long,� he assured me gently. �And since you�ve been a good girl lately, I let you roam around the living room.�

�Okay.� Then he left this house, locking and bolting the door from outside. I heard his footsteps growing distant as my eyes scanned around.
No TV. No stereo. All the windows are barred, so they can�t be broken easily. We live in a remote area too anyway, so no such luck.

I stared at my breakfast. The first month here, I�d tried rebelling against him by refusing to eat or drink anything. I�d been ready to die anytime, because � four days after my first attempt � I fell sick with dehydration and had almost died. He revived me back to life. The only thing that�s still keeping me alive was the mind game he was playing me with that night:

�I thought you said you wanted to see your mommy again.�

It�s been a year, I think, since I last saw her. Since he�d drugged me and kept me locked in here. God, I hope she hasn�t given up just yet. I hope she�s still looking for me...

My tears started at the thought of Mom, but I quickly wiped them away. I finished the toast and the orange juice. I have to stay strong.

I didn�t know why he took me. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me. He didn�t even care that I�d cried from behind the locked door:

�But I want my mommy! Please, let me go! I wanna go home. I won�t tell anybody, I swear!�

That had made him cry, but he said he�d kill me first if he ever had to let me go...

--- // ---

He came back that night. I decided to start playing his game too. I slung my arms around him. This time, I returned his kiss.

�Good to be home,� he murmured with a smile. �Good to be home with you.�

Perhaps I could buy more time � and make him let down his guard. Once I can get out, I�ll have to find my way home...

- The end -

R.

(Jakarta, 28/8/2014 � from The Couchsurfing Writers� Club Meeting @Anomali Cafe, Setiabudi One � 8:00 � 11:00 pm. Theme: �House / home.�)

 

 

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