2014-04-19 - 4:52 p.m.
I didn't get to dream about him for quite some time - until last night...
I was lost in the crowd. The place looked like either a mega-mall or a bus / train station. I couldn't really tell, except that it was nighttime.
I scanned around frantically. I was doing that when he walked past me, very briskly. I turned to his direction and instantly recognized him.
"Dad?" I started pacing after him before he got too far. He was wearing a grey, office suit. "Dad, wait!"
The man stopped and turned around. I was right; it was him, but it was more like the 30-year-old version of him. He smiled at me but also frowned.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, more curious and concerned than annoyed. When I couldn't answer, he went on, "You're supposed to be with your mother. Everybody's waiting for you at the car park."
Everybody? At the car park? I didn't have time to think. He was already leading me out, his hand cold as ice holding mine. All the while, people were just staring at us - probably assuming we were twins or just siblings. (I'm the female version of him, many people say.)
"There they are."
We were outside now. The sky was dark, but there were lights at the car park.
I saw a black car with my family in it. When they saw me, Ma and my brother got out - while my sister was trying to get the boys to stay.
"Where have you been?" Ma asked me as she walked up to me. I quickly turned around.
He was gone.
Suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. My tears started as I turned to face Ma. She stopped and her eyes widened with worry.
"What is it?" By then, I was already slumping on the ground and sobbing uncontrollably. Ma was also sitting and crying with me. Vaguely, I heard Ganesh's panic-stricken voice from inside the car:
"Mama, why is Bibi* crying?"
Meanwhile, Ma reached out for my hand and I took hers - blurting out about what had just happened.
After that, I ended up asking the dumbest question ever:
"I don't understand, Ma. Why isn't he coming with us?"
She smiled sadly for a while before replying:
"Don't you remember? He can't do that anymore."
That was when I finally woke up...
R.
