2014-01-29 - 1:27 a.m.
These are the moments when I often need my shades on.
I need to shield my eyes,
for they can no longer camouflage myself with lies.
They say it�s normal.
It�s not even 40 days yet.
Sometimes I fear I might crumble
and throw away my last safety net.
Sorry I have to hide behind these walls
way too many times again.
I�m afraid of another waterfall,
and I�ve already caused more than a fountain.
They say I�ll be okay.
Once again, it�s just a matter of �when�.
Right now, it�s just what I have to go through everyday,
even when I�m actually too tired to pretend.
I�m longing for that moment
when you come back again
and say that I don�t have to pretend:
�It�s okay, because it�s only me.
No need to put those shades on.�
R.
(Jakarta, 23/1/2014 � 6:45 pm)
