2013-09-10 - 6:37 a.m.
Believe it or not, I often find myself in the middle. That doesn�t mean I�m indecisive or unable to make up my own mind. Some people even say that I seem to have my own �orbit� � whatever that means.
This also has nothing to do with the fact that I�m the middle child in the family. I don�t even know if I (still?) suffer the middle-child syndrome or not. Maybe I do, maybe not.
I get to see more of me that way these days. If we want to start simple, take a look at me: I�m not always a hottie, but definitely not a yuckie. I�m not a genius or a dim-wit. I�m generally a tomboy, but I still know how to be feminine/a girly-girl. When I do that, I only do that because I want to � not because they think I should.
I know that I�ll always be Indonesian, no matter what, but probably not like what most Indonesian young women are like. I�ve accepted the fact that I�m still single in my early thirties. I enjoy going out alone, although that doesn�t mean I won�t have fun going out with other people too.
Most of the time, I question...a lot. I don�t just accept everything without logic or reason.
I get along well with my expat friends at work and outside. (Well, most of them, anyway.) Some of them listen to me, eventhough they might be older than I am. They do take me seriously and respect my opinions, although they don�t always agree.
However, I know that I�ll never be �one of them�. (Well, it�s not like I ever want to try.) I can hang out with them, come to their apartments invited and eat their foods. I can sit with them, talk and giggle. They can eat their ham or pork, while I just have my chicken and beef. They can drink their tequila and beer, while I just have soda, juice, or water. Coffee or tea would be fine. (�Long Island Iced Tea�? Err, I think I�ll pass.)
I may speak English well and know how to fake some of their accents, but I won�t start dyeing my hair blond. That would be stupid and I�d look absolutely freaky. I know who I am. I know what I want with my life.
Some people mistake me for being either liberal � or a feminist. I believe in God and what my religion teaches me, but I have different interpretations than those extremists you often see in the news. You can�t group me with them, but if you prefer to believe what you like about me � then there�s not much I can do here.
Oh, well. As if I care.
R.
