2013-09-03 - 9:33 p.m.
People often act like they know everything, including what they think is best for you. If they're strangers, you usually can handle them much better. Just dismiss them, since they're not important in your life. Nothing personal.
If they're your friends and/or other family members, that's another story.
First of all, don't picture me as the typical heroine you might read in famous chick-lits or see in Hollywood chick-flicks. I'm not the type of girls guys look at from across the bar and write songs above. I'm not the picture-perfect diva (still, by Hollywood standard, of course) - or even some hideous monster that could give children nightmares for nights.
Lately, I've considered myself as "just a girl-next-door, thinking out-of-the-box." (That's like the safest, most vague denotative about me.) In fact, I sometimes treat the damn box as if it doesn't exist. Ma often says that I don't think like most (common? normal?) Indonesian young women do. (You know, the kind who fret about boyfriends in their teens and marriage in their mid-twenties.)
I'm 31 going on 32 (which is in November...soon.) Most single, Indonesian women my age would rather conceal their age - in fear of those annoying questions about marriage and stuff.
Well, let's just face it: it's 2013. Hello? I don't see the point in hiding or faking your real age to the world. Not only that, though, but I'm also still living with my parents and siblings - which is common/normal for Indonesians. (Even the elders still believe that it's always better to live with your own family. Why would you want to be someplace else?)
Whatever you do, people will always have something to say. That's what I believe. There are some people that you just can't win arguing with, so sometimes it's best to keep quiet and just get on with your life. Silence is golden. It's not always a sign of defeat and submission.
Most of the time, it's a sense of passive-aggressiveness - because one is already way too sick to death of the other's incurable stubbornness. Maybe they also no longer care, or have never given a damn in the first place.
I remember an old colleague of mine. One day at work, this conversation took place:
Her: (laments) "Ohh, it's still a long way before our next paycheck."
Me: (empathizes) "Yeah, I know what you mean."
Her: (scowls at me) "But you're still living with your parents."
Me:"Well, my dad's got a stroke."
Her: (blushes, wide-eyed) "Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to insult you."
See? Just because you're still living with your parents at the age of 25+, some people automatically assume that you're lazy, spoiled, dependent, and don't need to work that hard.
For the record, I'm not mad at her anymore. It doesn't matter. People can say whatever they like about you. That doesn't make them know everything.
Some people out there think I'm a good girl, still staying home with my parents, helping out the family, and taking care of Dad. I don't know. I'm just doing my best and - sadly - I don't always succeed. Oftentimes, I even wonder if whatever I do will ever be good enough.
I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't tired...or somewhat depressed. Some people who don't (or refuse to) understand might think I'm being mean and an ungrateful brat. I mean, why would I complain about taking care of my parents?
Some people also say that you're not really independent if you still live with your parents - instead of on your own. For me, it's like an endless, socially-planted mind game. How sick.
In the end, you can't always win. You can't please everybody all the time. You sometimes need to be selfish too, for the sake of your mental health.
I'm still working on my plan to move out and start living on my own. It's not easy, you know? Especially here. I need my personal space. That doesn't mean I'm abandoning my parents, although some people may not believe that.
Whatever. This is my life anyway. My life, my rules, my business!
May the right time for that come soon...
R.
