2013-05-11 - 11:38 a.m.
Honestly, I don't know how to call the place where my basic family lives in. The Crowded House? No, that's a band. (Or was a band, since they'd broken up long ago.)
Still, the name fits. Three families live in it: my own, my sister The First Princess', and the maid's. Complex? Oh, yeah.
Want to hear more? Dad The Great King is still sick. Stroke for over three years already. He can still function okay (as in, not having to stay in bed with IV and other medical life-supports). Other than sitting and eating, he's pretty much immobile. He needs a helper.
The Great King's role here is also The Silent Witness. He no longer has a voice. (I mean, literally.) The stroke has stolen it.
Will he get it back? I don't know. Good question. Let's just hope so.
He sees everything in this crowded house, but can't say a word or let us know whether he likes it or not. He can only cry his silent tears when he doesn't.
I know. Heartbreaking, eh?
There are also a lot of other things here. Too many to mention. It's like a domino-effect. One unstable footing and the whole line of bars might collapse in turns. Just like that.
Imagine working your hardest to keep everything intact - and realise that it feels like a Sysyphus' eternal job. Never-ending. Is it good enough? Will it ever be? Only God knows.
I wouldn't be complaining again like a helpless, damsel-in-distress or a dangerously quiet but ticking time-bomb of a so-called goody-goody here - if I didn't feel so damn alone here. Isn't that odd, you feeling that way in the crowd? Among the people you know, your own family? Your own flesh and blood, those expected to know you better firsthand and understand you well - even more than other people out there in the world?
I've tried letting go some of the things in the past. I'm no God. I'm not even a superhero. (Come to think of it, that 'title' is so bloody fictitious and damn ridiculous. Ah, whatever.)
I'm just one person. It has nothing to do with my gender, okay? Don't start.
It's true that some people expect way too much from one very tired person.(-__-') Even Lady Phoenix - T's landlady, friend, and former roommate; once reminded me that nobody was supposed to carry the weight of the entire world on their shoulders alone.
Okay, more about that later on.
Basically, I've accepted the fact that there are things I just can do absolutely nothing about.
I can understand that Ma, The Mighty Queen, has been more than tired already. Exhausted. She's fed up with everything, yet she's forced to remain strong. She has to be.
When she drops, guess who's the rock to lean on. Yep, that's right.
Me. And she expects no complaints from me. Whee!
I can't help it that The First Princess married the equally self-centered Mr.Narcissistic Sociopath. I love their three kids to death, don't get me wrong. Poor innocent souls...
My brother, The Sweet Prince, is a softie. He needs to start being more of a really, reliable man anytime soon.
I'm The Storyteller, reporting all the way from The Crowded House. I'm signing out now.
R.
