2013-04-20 - 12:12 a.m.
I know this is normal. Everyone goes through this phase once in a while.
I went through this a year ago, when I decided to move to another company. It was difficult at first, because I'd worked there for 3.5 years. The management was not that ideal, but working there had been fun. No regrets. It was a valuable learning process and experience for me.:) I will never forget any of it. Plus, the staff had been like my second family. We'd been through a lot as a team.
That's why it was difficult to leave them, but in the end I'd done it anyway. I had to be more sensible. Dad was sick and we needed more money.
After a while, now I've realized that - while working my hardest to keep my family well - I often forget to take care of myself too. I am still single. I am 31. For many common Indonesians here, I am considered...out of the statistics. They say I should be married and have kids already.
However, I am not into that idea so desperately - as what normally happens to most Indonesian women my age. I still want to do a lot in the world. Travel more. Write more. Seek for more adventures. Live life more lightly, with less worry.
No surprise, eh? After a lot of sacrifices I've made (although I know they can never compete Ma's sacrifices for us), I want something for me too. My life. I believe I am not the only one.
Taking care of yourself first is not always selfish. Sometimes it is also very necessary.
I need to be happy too. In fact, I deserve it!
I am still at the crossroad, carefully contemplating my options and working out a plan. My decision is already final, but getting there is one hell of a long road...
R.
