2013-03-10 - 1:27 p.m.
I don't think I can ever look at my life the same way again. A lot of things have changed rapidly. I just hope that I can keep up with the pace.
First of all, I met Bello last year - on my first trip to The Island of The Gods with my best friend T. The two had had a brief 'history'. Back then, they both were still friends. Well, sort of.
Then, there was the 'last kiss goodbye' which had mixed up the whole 'easy-breezy' friendship. T thought there was still a possibility for a real relationship with Bello again, and so did I. I'd thought that maybe, after all, they'd have really belonged together and forever. (Me and my simple, rather childlike mind. Duh.)
Dumbly, I suggested T to find out about that the week after our trip together there. So he bought the tickets there and back again to find out.
He really did. It wasn't great...at all. Worst of all, Bello was busy paying more attention to his I-Phone as T tried pouring his heart out. Boo.
T came back feeling crushed, disappointed, and...broken.*snifs* I knew he'd tried hiding all that underneath his so-called 'devil-may-care' attitude. Because of that, I ended up causing quite a stir before he flew home. I wrote a non-fiction piece about that 'fateful night' during our last trip to Bali, with the kiss and all that jazz. (Read "Thoughts of A (So-Called?) Empath:Hazel Eyes".) T became 'Hazel Eyes', Bello had no name, and I was the storyteller...a.k.a. 'The So-Called Empath'. I showed it to T and he liked it. He said he was moved by it.:'-)
After that, T suggested that I post that on FB. Since Bello and I were already FB friends, I wondered if it was a good idea.
"I don't care if he can read it," T had said. "I've got nothing to lose. It's the truth."
So I did. I didn't just stop there, though. Out of anger that my best friend hadn't had a change to be heard, I tagged Bello on the note - and he liked it!
For a while, I thought there was still a flicker of hope that the two could be together again. (I even wrote a sequel called "Thoughts of A (So-Called?) Empath:Brown Eyes" when Bello came to Jakarta not long after that and we'd met briefly - after T had already flown back home and then to Venezuela with his aunt.) But then T told me that he'd unfriended Bello on FB when he was in Venezuela. Why? It was a test. He still wanted to know how much he'd mean to Bello.
Not much apparently.:( It took Bello quite some time to notice T missing from his friends' list. He took it lightly, though. Very lightly.
That was when T made his final decision. He sent his last e-mail to Bello about how it was best for both of them to not keep in touch at all. I understand that he didn't want to be just a painful reminder of Bello's past, as sad as it sounds. Still, he wished Bello well and thanked him for having been in T's life.
*deep sigh*
So now, here we are. I'm friends with two gay guys who are no longer friends with each other. Weird, but I have to manage. I know I can, since I genuinely care about them both. I just have to watch my mouth whenever I hang out with either of them. No touchy subjects, please.
Last Thursday, Bello was in Jakarta again. (I knew he'd been a bit reluctant to meet me the last time he was here.) We ended up hanging out all afternoon together.:) Checking out Zara, having lunch in Kafe Betawi, mall-hopping from Senayan City to Plaza Senayan and then back again (hehe!), drinking coffee at Starbucks, another tour around Senayan City, and then having ice cream at Cold Stone. It was fun. He was cool and chatty, not as guarded and shy as he'd been the first time we met. It felt as great as hanging out with T, although Bello was much quieter.
I had to admit that we'd made quite an odd pair that day.xD A muscular guy who went shopping and a chubby girl who went window-shopping.
He was sweet.:)
Okay, I've got to go now. I've got to be ready for...ADAM LAMBERT'S CONCERT TONIGHT! YAY!! :D
R.
