2012-12-07 - 8:18 p.m.
Have you ever experienced a situation as described above? (I know it's also a pretty long title, eh?)
Before I carry on, let me tell you how I've come up with that. This may sound rather mean-spirited, but I've come across someone's profile in a social media site and read the person's bio. After having scrolled down several postings, my decision was made up. Not. Adding. That. Person.
Nothing personal, at least not so much now. I just don't feel the need to put up with more negativity than necessary. No, thank you.
I've been reading quite plenty of feature articles about the correlation between the progress of your career with what you post online. I've also discussed this issue with some people who know more about computers/internet than I do. Research, research. It's much better (and safer too!) than acting like a know-it-all, but then you end up sounding like a know-nothing. Now that would be embarrassing!
From there, I could simply conclude:
"Your negative postings online could possibly be the reason why you don't get promoted easily at work. The HRD pays attention to them too."
No, I'm not kidding. In fact, that happened to me once. I'd applied for a job as an online journalist and the chief editor asked for links to both my Facebook and Twitter accounts. Yikes!
I didn't get the job. Hopefully, it wasn't because of what I'd written online. (Had it been that, then it was just my fault. That's it.) I'm not perfect (and yeah, who is anyway?), but I try to remind myself not to use profanity online - even when I'm at my wits' end. (Yes, some people do test your patience a lot!) It's not easy, especially with my bad/high temper. Still, I have to give it a go, eh?
Anyway, I haven't really answered the question in the beginning of this entry. Yes. Don't we all, at some point? The critical issue is: How come? How often?
Most importantly: What do we do about it? Do we just sit in front of our computer, furiously typing about how cold and cruel the world out there is and that how people are being biased, unfair, or judgemental? Or do we try to find the core of the problem, the reason, and then work out to find a solution, instead of just letting it all hang? (Seriously, aren't we tired of drama already?)
I've been through that stage when I felt like even the people I care about the most neither listened to me or even noticed me. It took me quite a long time to have finally come to terms with that. Most of the time, I keep quiet and try to distract myself. Talk to people who really care and understand me better. Anything like that.
One of my best friends once sat me down, seriously gazed at me, and said: "You know, sometimes it's hard to make you believe that people actually care about you too."
I guess it's true that - eventually - time will tell. Patience is a virtue and time also heals wounds. (Well, unless if you choose to keep on poking at the same old scars.) It's also easy to play a victim than reflect on what might actually be the case.
Heard but not listened? Perhaps you've been expecting the wrong listeners. Or worse, perhaps you need to stop talking so much. Start listening to other people more. There's nothing wrong with loving to hear your own voice so much, really, but never forget that other people's voices deserve to be heard too. After all, it's not always about you.
Seen but not acknowledged? Again, perhaps you've been expecting the wrong audience. Or worse, perhaps you've been ahead of yourself lately. Perhaps it's time that you started paying better attention to other people and acknowledging them more, especially those who have helped you but don't get appreciated by you. After all, respect is earned - not freely given just because you're someone else's golden son or just older with a bigger salary and a higher job position. I mean, when was the last time you really thanked people for what they did to you? Is it that difficult to do so?
It's not making you less important if you say 'please' when you ask for help, 'thank you' when you get help, and 'sorry' when you make mistakes. These three things still rule! They make people listen to you better and appreciate you more.(If there are people who still don't, then they don't even deserve your attention in the first place!)
Acknowledgement comes from respect you earn. Heard but not listened? Seen but not acknowledged? We've all been through that. We still do that everyday. Why take it too personally? Why be such a cry-baby? I mean, seriously. Is your luck really that bad? Are you the most unfortunate sufferer in this whole wide world? Please.
If that's how you describe and see yourself everyday in the mirror, then you must have some serious issues. One of them is superiority/primadonna complex. Once again, as a friendly reminder, life is not always all about you.
The Rude R.
