2011-06-10 - 8:29 p.m.
I can't resist the urge to make an entry title almost similar to one of my very few favourite chickflicks - "Dreams For An Insomniac".*giggles*:P If you haven't watched it yet, it's a story about an aspiring actress named Frankie (played by Ione Sky) who hasn't been able to sleep at all since the death of her parents. When the guy of her dreams (played by McKenzie Austin) asks her why, Frankie tells him that she doesn't want to see her parents in her dreams - knowing that she won't find them anymore the moment she wakes up.
It sounds sad, I know.:| But don't worry, the movie is actually quite funny (set in the 90's where people didn't seem too crazy or life wasn't that chaotic back then:P). Jennifer Anniston played there as Frankie's best friend - long before she became famous in "Friends".
And no, that's not me at all.:P I'm just saying that I've been unable to sleep lately.:( Is it the night classes? The late-night TV shows again?
Perhaps I must seriously reduce my caffeine-intake, which is really hard.:P
"Do you know the place between asleep and awake...where you remember all your dreams...?"
Can it still be called 'daydreaming', if it happens at night? I mean, I swear to you - sometimes I can still dream with my eyes open. I'm tired but I can't sleep - and when I try lying in bed at night, my eyes stay open but I don't see the ceiling.
"That's when I'll always love you..."
Okay, I must switch that off and change it to another song in my head. In case you're wondering, that was Ten Sharp with "Feel My Love".:P The odd thing is, about three years ago I produced a writing based on that. It was called "When Solitude Speaks". It's somewhere on my very old entries, but I'm too lazy to dig that out. All I remember is I ended up calling it a rant, instead of a poem or a story.
Human emotions are very complex. These days, I'm still too tired to deal with even my own - so I stick to what's more logical.
I've gotten a rare chance to hang out with my brother again this week. (Rare? You might be wondering, since he and I still live in the same house.:P) You know, when we were teenagers, sometimes we'd just drive around the town and play some rock on the stereo. We could sing or scream, or joke about stuff that gave us PAIN.*sneers* Oh, yeah. He sometimes understand my very dark (and sometimes intolerable) sense of humour too.:P
Those were the days when love didn't bother me so much. It was something I could simly dismiss and a distraction I would often fight against. Easy.
Maybe I should start doing that now. I mean, what's the bloody point when - in the end - love only breaks your heart and leaves you alone? Hell, I've been alone most of the time. Why make it worse with unnecessary heartache?
I actually don't mind being alone. Seriously. I am generally happy being single. I've got lots of fun things to do. I still function normally.
I just hate it when people - especially close relatives - keep reminding me of what I haven't got. They act as if that's the ONLY thing in the world that can make a girl happy. What? They're still living in fairy tales or what??
You don't always have to agree with me. I could be wrong, remember?
Love is a beautiful thing that sometimes has an ugly effect or more on some people.
Still, being alone is a lot easier when you've never fallen in love. At all.:|
The Insomniac
