2010-10-27 - 11:03 a.m.
First of all I have to admit the fact that most of my people here tend to underrate the meaning of 'narcissism' or being a 'narcissist'.:P For example, with the Facebook era - where you can freely post your pictures and videos of yourself - they seem to label people (more) easily as 'narcissists'.
If you are not familiar with Greek mythology, you can look up 'Narcissus' on wikipedia and google it.(Like I have.:P) I even watch "Criminal Minds" for more references, since some of their cases are inspired by the actual ones.
That is why narcissism is not only socially disturbing, but can also be dangerous. You don't need to continue reading this if you are already familiar with the issue. But still, allow me to recap what I have already known so far about narcissism:
1.Mirror is their no.1 BFF.*big evil grin* It is okay to check our appearances on a regular basis. We all do that. It becomes a problem if you spend too much time admiring your own reflections instead of reflecting what truly lies within your soul.(Yes, like the original Narcissus.:P) But then again, why should a narcissist even bother what others think? In their eyes, they are always perfect that they can't hardly get their eyes off of themselves!
2.They dress immaculately. High-ends from head to feet. It is good to impress others that way, especially in the business world. It becomes real trouble when they spend more on it than how much they actually can make. Well, so what if they can look flawless on the outside and gain admiration from others? After all, that is the idea.:P
3.Narcissists can also possibly be social climbers. Like point no.2, they tend to portray themselves as better/higher/smarter than who and what they really are. They absorb their attention to those they deem as 'high-class society' and imitate the attitude. They undermine those they see as unworthy of their attention. Beware, they hate competitions. If they have to be in one, they never play fair. They can't stand the idea and fact that there are other people better than them at some points in life. They must remain the best, one way or another.*rolls eyes*
4.They are charming at first. They win friends and admirers fast and easy, but also lose them even faster and easier. This usually happens if people are soon smart enough to notice their 'other side' and start wondering what have made a narcissist so bloody attractive and interesting at the very beginning.
5.They do little stuff and demand bigger appreciations. They even play their most convincing "sincerity" card and can make you look as if you are ungrateful to them once you are not so nice to them anymore. In other words, they love playing "poor, nice victims" while you are "the bad guy".
6.Ironically, they never say thanks for your help because they don't find the need to. Even if they do, that is so rare and you can't even detect any sign of sincerity in their tone.
7.Instead of using 'please', they like telling people what to do. It is good to be king, eh? No need to feel guilty.*sneers*
8.Speaking of guilt, you can never win any argument with them. Even if you are (proven) right and they are wrong, they'd rather swallow poison to their death than saying sorry or at least admitting that you are right. If they (seem to) give in to your argument, they make your victory taste like dirt by retorting: "Fine, have it your way! Whatever you say." They don't care. For them, it is always other people's faults.
9.They demand to be loved for who they are, but never forget the mistakes you have made in the past. Once you have wronged them, no matter how often you have apologized - they will always, ALWAYS dig the same graves and shove the old skeletons at you every time you have a fight. Relevant or else, that is.
10.They lack or have no sense of empathy for others and remorse. It is all about them. The world revolves around them. It is their centre stage with a single spotlight on them. Whether there are audience or hacklers, it doesn't matter. To them, we are that dispensable. They only keep blinded fans and living tails, not honest friends with real personalities and principles.
11.Same thing when it comes to having a relationship. It is never equal, because their partner has to be less dominant/submissive. All sorts of abuse can happen behind closed doors, because no one is ever really good enough for them. Their partner must cater to all their needs and be forever thankful to them for at least noticing them in the first place. Why do narcissists still need a relationship? To appear normal in society, as if that is part of their grand achievement.
12.They only say "I love you" when you give them what they want. Only God knows what they really mean by that. As far as it shows, they only know how to love themselves, completely.
13.If they go too far like committing crimes, they make sure nobody knows. If the witnesses can put them in serious danger, they will kill them. They tend to use their best instinct: flight, instead of fight. If they are caught, they can spill out all excuses until their stock is empty - before they choose to kill themselves just to get away from their (supposedly) responsibilities.
How to deal with them? If it is bloody necessary (you may determine how from the previous points above), you can break their personal mirror and force them to face their own beasts. But if they don't bother your life too much, I am sure you've got better things to do.*big evil grin*
The Author/SBF
