2010-06-28 - 10:00 p.m.
It was just another ordinary Sunday morning. My brother told me that we were having another squash game in the afternoon. Of course I was in, so I started preparing.
She called Mom and then Mom told me. She was saying goodbye and Mom had simply wished her well.
I freaked out, frantically searching for my cellphone. There was a missed call from her. I called her back, swallowing a sudden lump in my throat as hard as I could. To my relief, she replied brightly. Of course, she was going to have the eternal bliss of the rest of her life ahead. Isn't she lucky?
And what kind of a friend am I, if I'm not being fair and supportive enough? How the hell will I be able to look at myself in the mirror if I'm not doing what any noble lady should in this circumstance? A noble lady should let love go when it never wants to stay for her since beginning, and shake the winner's hand. It's (supposed to be) as simple as that, isn't it?
"I'm on my way to the airport with my sister and friend," she told me. Somehow, a part of me wished that I had been there too. "My flight's at two."
"Oh." Don't cry, I ordered myself silently, staring hard at the mirror. Don't you even start that. "Sorry about last Friday. I wish I hadn't been so tired after the workshop to meet you."
For one last time, I added silently. Damn, my eyes were betraying me. They started turning red.
"That's okay," she said lightly. "I know we've been so busy with our own schedules lately, although I'd really like to see you for one last time."
"Me too." I realized that I'd really meant it. I missed the good old days, back when we were these tough, independent chicks against the world. Back before love came along to show just how frail the strongest friendship could actually be. Why do they feel like a universe away now? Is it because I also tend to take things for granted, believing that the good things will always stay for me? I am only fooling myself, aren't I?
"I think you're one of their best, so that is why they are still keeping you busy."
"You're one of the main reasons why I took this job in the first place." I tried to smile, but it was crooked - like a dentist's patient's after a major surgery. Did she know that I was silently crying too? Could she tell? I thought I could always fake it on the phone, but that never worked with Tiger and...Red. Her Cute Redhead now.
"I am sure you'll be more successful than ever someday," she went on softly. "You've got the special talent."
"You too." Oh, cut this melodrama crap! Why does goodbye have to suck? "Don't worry, there's always Facebook and everything, right?"
"Yeah, we can still talk," she agreed. "This is not our last goodbye. We'll meet again someday, either here or somewhere in this world."
"I hope so." And I really want to. "Make sure he takes care of you."
She giggled. "Don't worry, he will."
"Make sure HE takes care of you, alright?" Because no matter what, I still never want you to have to feel what I am still feeling right now.:(
"You take care too. Say hi to your dad and everybody else at home, because I only got to talk to your mom. I hope Ganesh will grow healthier too."
"Thanks, I will."
"Bye."
Then I hung up and collapsed. I had to bury my face in my pillow.
:'-(...
Take care of her, Red. I swear to God, if you ever hurt her the way you've hurt me in the past, I will never forgive you.
My friend Jules once said that love is actually a privilege. If that is the case, then how many people who actually deserve it? Am I one of them? Have I always been the major problem that love prefers to avoid?
Either way, I am still going to miss her. Isn't she lucky? Someone out there has finally noticed her that much.
The Author
