2010-06-15 - 4:48 a.m.
"In this era of over-glorifying (outer) image and sheer vanity, where does someone like me actually belong?"
Oh, yeah.:P Where am I supposed to stand?
This Saturday, I am attending The Biggest Loser Asia's audition locally. I have registered online and all I have to carry is the copy of my data to the audition. To be honest, I am not too crazy myself about the idea. It is strictly for fun and curiousity. I am not too ambitious about getting myself picked.*shrugs* No big deal. With or without it, I can still survive.
All my friends at work think I don't need to do that. I mean, they are pretty supportive in whatever positive that I want to do. They just worry that I worry too much about what other people think of me.
No, it's not about other people anymore. It's about Mom, who still keeps on bugging me about my weight, telling me that I have a serious problem. Just like earlier after work. She brought up the old subject all over again. Boring.*yawns*
It is actually okay if she offers me some stuff to just keep me healthy. I'll take it, because I know that she actually means well. I just can't stand that she keeps on implying that I am fat and that she can't stand the way I look.
:'-(...
"This formula can help you to lose weight - "
"You just won't quit it, will you?"
A frown. "Look, I am not forcing you to try this, okay? I just think this might work. I just want to improve your looks."
As usual, she took me the wrong way.*rolls eyes* And for her last remark, I get it. I get it that she always thinks I don't look good enough, unlike her other, slimmer and taller daughter. I get it, okay? I GET IT! NO NEED TO SAY MORE!!:X
I'll never win with this, will I? No wonder I sometimes still hate this world and its cruel, shallow people. Even my own mother can't accept me for me, just like any of them.
Is it really so hard to find someone who genuinely looks at you and says,"You're beautiful and I love you for who you are"? I never thought that I would need something like that these days.
I miss my best friend.:'-( I hate to admit that I wish he were here or would stick around more and longer, just like the old times. Can we go back there, or am I asking for the impossible and it's just too much?
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