2010-04-16 - 8:05 a.m.
So why no updates in a long time?:P I'm sure you could already tell. It's not like I haven't tried to at least find the time. (Again, excuses.)
Although I've been intentionally drowning myself in work, there are things that I can't just avoid nor forget. As usual, with someone like me, you know how it is.:| My self-defense mechanism doesn't always work properly, although it is basically autopilot. How strange.
"You might feel like you're numb, but in the end love will find you when you least expect it. Even if you give up on love, I don't think it'll give up on you." - AJM-
As skeptical as I am, let's just hope so, God.:) Let's just hope that one day God proves me wrong about love being nothing more than just a mean joke to me.
For now, that's all I can see. I don't know how to convince myself otherwise. I don't know when this will end. All I know is that I can only (and always) hang on to God, knowing that no mortals in the world (not even myself, I'm afraid) are always that reliable. Call me bitter or sarcastic, but aren't more realists also (natural) cynics?
Wow. This is all so bloody familiar. It's like I've been here for way too many times before, too damn long too. Welcome home, Me.:P That room is still all yours. You already know the drill.
"Damsels in distress are as good as dead, because this crazy real world preys upon weaknesses - and the evil warlock disguises himself as a prince charming."
Oh, yeah.:P I wrote that sometime ago on my FB status. Sorry for the overuse of mythological references, but I notice some girls still easily fall for the (outer) image of a 'so-called' prince charming.*rolls eyes* I thank God that now I'm old (and hopefully mature enough:P) to know that - sorry - they just don't last long. Like Mz.D often says, sooner or later, their true colours will blind you and then leave you all alone in the dark. No joke. Wear your shades or leave before it's all too late. Besides, who says you're the princess he's been looking for? Ha-ha.
She asked for it, didn't she? Gullible Girl chose to believe in Notorious Boy a whole lot more than she did her own friends - people who really cared about her. (Now I don't even want to know her every piece of dirt. From now on, she'd better keep it all to herself, because you know just how easily pissed off I am by this same old shit.)
Unfortunately, Gullible Girl's (ex??) pal Uti thought she always needed to tell people she knew everything. You see, the two girls have practically been "frenemies" since school. Uti had complained to me about her twice. When I did a cross-reference check with Pitbull (since Uti talks to her too - as far as I know), I've decided that there are people you should never put their names on your VIP list. It's not arrogance, just reasonable selection.
Yes, my hatred for Notorious Boy can't be compromised.:( No, I'm not being an angry feminist or gender-biased or anything about this whole issue, but I still want to know. Is it just a 'normal guy-thing' to whisper sweet-nothings to the girl, sleep with her, and then ditch her when he gets bored? Worst of all, if he can't stand her nagging demands about them staying together - he can just easily tell the whole world what an easy slut she is, but then he is still socially accepted. How fair.*rolls eyes*
No, that doesn't mean I'm on her side as well. Maybe I'm still naive, but I'm not a hypocrite as well. Yeah, yeah, normal (grown-up) people think about sex. Big deal. Everyone is fully responsible for their own actions. I get that. But if that is the case, then why is it still so damn easy for society to harshly judge the girl and surprisingly forgive the guy for it?
Can you even blame me still if I think the world is never safe?
Whatever.*rolls eyes* I'm just so utterly sick of this whole 'superficial' idea of love. Love.*snorts* Even that word is 'overly abused' for one's personal gain. What else do you expect me to believe? What??
Honestly, I don't know how to react. I don't know what to feel. It's just almost like a gap, a pause before the next slide show.
The point is, after they had done it, he broke it off with her. She cried hysterically and asked her 'so-called' friend to help her get him back. Uti did and they were an item again for a while. But somehow, somewhere along the way, Gullible Girl sensed something fishy between her friend and her man. Uti claimed that her so ungrateful friend was just being insanely jealous and paranoid, accusing her nonsensical things. However, she also wouldn't say about what she'd talked with Notorious Boy about earlier behind his girl's back. (And no, I'm not interested to find out more, because that is not my job to complete the missing piece.:P Regarding her own shady history with someone else's husband and also her oqn coquettish attitude toward men, I'm sorry to say I don't trust Uti completely myself.)
When Uti started talking about wanting to take Gullible Girl to a shrink or a shaman to 'cure' her out of her craziness, I'd wanted to laugh. Sarcastically, that is.*big evil grin* I mean, just who the hell that she thinks she is anyway?
It's true.*shrugs* It's always much easier for us to harshly judge others quickly and first, as if we are the holier ones.
Uti also complained about how Notorious Boy always borrowed Gullible Girl's money without ever returning it. (No surprise at all.*rolls eyes*) I was beyond attentive at that part already. Whatever. She got what she wanted in the end, and that's just how he obviously treated her. Yes, we all saw it coming. Too bad she chose to ignore it.
Now she is trying to reach out for me. I passed by her desk one day and caught a sight of her sitting and staring intently at her phone. (Typical.) Probably noticing me walking behind her, she intentionally murmured pretty loud to get my attention, "Just when I'm back to being single again, another guy is already checking me out."
Maybe I'm strange, but do girls really need a boyfriend to make them feel more worthy and beautiful? I just don't get it.
"Oh, really?" Pardon my lack of enthusiasm, but I already knew where it was going. "Good for you then."
When she said she wanted to play squash with me someday, I told her I wasn't sure because: one, I'm still learning myself and have no confidence enough just yet to disperse from my brother's crowd and two, I need to buy my own rackets and ball, and three, I always play with my brother and his friends (sometimes there are so many of them that we have to take turns in using the field at Senayan.) No, I'm not brushing her off. Knowing her, I'm just not sure she feels comfortable enough with that - and neither my brother's crowd with her.
Seriously, these three particular people can start their own soap, but I prefer watching "Criminal Minds" instead.*big evil grin*
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