2009-10-13 - 6:59 a.m.
Gigi turned 25 yesterday.:D She brought a chocolate cake with red cherries on top to work. Yippee! Happy birthday, Gigi.
I also chatted with Nicholas yesterday morning before going to work. He said he was at his friend's place for their usual schedule and wondered if I still remembered. Of course I do. He was genuinely amazed when I mentioned their RPG title.
"A-ha, she remembers!"
"I don't forget easily." I think I've told him that before, but I just couldn't copy the similar sarcasm now. The "I-can't-just-forget-the-details-about-people-who-mean-that-much-to-me" kind of tone in those four little words. ("Or-who-once-did.")
In fact, I am feeling kind of hollow these days. Strange. I don't know why. Numb by exhaustion perhaps? I've been very busy these days.
The last time I talked to Tiger too, he also agreed that keeping yourself busy is a very good thing. For me, I guess, it keeps me from my most unproductive/destructive moments.
Emotional detachment.
Indeed.
A good diversion, knowing that every quiet moment with just yourself can completely feel like stepping into the black hole alone. In order to avoid it, you've got to keep filling up that empty space - only so it won't start suffocating you from deep within.
Just like before.
Staying busy is the only option...for now...
"There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you..."
("Hole-hearted" by.Extreme)
Lights out at work, so everybody went home early last night. Cancelled classes, delayed final exams.
*sighs*
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