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2009-09-02 - 7:52 a.m.

It all started out as a simple conversation.
I told my friends about a random phone call from some guy last Saturday, while I was hanging out with Gigi. He claimed to be one of the marketing staff of some famous local gym. He offered me a promotional one-day free trial. He even bluntly asked me about - grrh! - my height and my weight.
Having learned from Mom about how to deal with these people, I came up with a polite rejection to his offer and a simple thank-you. I've already been a member of another gym in Bintaro, and no, I'm not thinking about switching it with another. However, I'd also have liked to let him know - explicitly - that it made me feel uncomfortable having strangers know my number. He stumbled a bit upon explaining that someone from his central office had somehow recommended me, but he didn't give me any names.
In the end, I figured he could simply notice a sense of finality in my voice, so he just gave me a quick thank-you for my time and hung up.
Since having been stalked for about three or four times before, I've been more careful with giving my number away. (So, how the hell did the guy get it?!) Call me paranoid, but I'm sure most of us agree that experience is the best teacher.
Some of them wanted to know about my last stalker story, so I told them what had happened to me a year before. I'd been typing my job resume in a cybercafe - where the booths weren't too secure.
And the stalker had walked behind me and spotted my number on the PC screen. You could guess what happened next.
He started texting me, saying he'd genuinely wanted to get to know me. Knowing my last scary experience with stalkers in college, I relied on my instinct and asked him where he'd gotten my number.
When he told me the truth, no more replies from me. However, he just wouldn't quit that easily - for six months. Texts after texts, annoyingly begging for my attention and trying to make me feel guilty by calling me a snob, a stuck-up bitch, and an arrogant. Missed calls during wee hours. It turned out that he didn't just spot my number that day, because he said he'd seriously thought about visiting my house.
During that moment, I only told a few people I trusted. Tiger, Hani, and Nicholas. My parents had been busy preparing for my sister's wedding, and I didn't dare scare them, although Nicholas had suggested that I let them know. Hani had gone through so much as conducting all her friends to harass the stalker back. Tiger suggested changing my number, but I refused to let that sick bastard win by doing so. I even posted his number on my blog, allowing all readers to bug him as much as they pleased.
And I still remember Mom's feeble reaction when the same thing had happened to me in college. She'd thought it was just my secret admirer, so she didn't take it seriously.
After six months, the stalking miraculously stopped. It took me another three to have finally banished my paranoia, but maybe the ghost still lingers on. Sometimes at night, I still look around when I'm on the road alone.
What bugged me a little was some of their feeble reactions, just like Mom's.
"Maybe it was just a secret admirer," Bobby had said rather skeptically. "It's a good thing that at least someone liked you that much."
"Maybe he really did mean well," said Leese. "You were the one being so quick and harsh."
Uh, does a person really mean well - if they text nasty words to another random stranger, or invite them over for a sex phone? Do they really mean well if you answer their phone, only to hear a breather with their disgusting sigh? I'll be damned if those psychopaths are considered as sweet, romantic Romeos too. Ugh. *rolls eyes*
And for the record, if a guy calls a girl three or more times a day for a long, mundane conversation - then he might really need to get a life. (Unless, if it's a long-distant relationship, which is more unlikely and very costly.:P)
Thankfully, Dee stepped in to defend me.
"No, she's right, Leese," she said. "If I were her, I'd feel and do the same. Ethically, he had no rights to snoop in for her number and then did that to her. It's sad that our society has always put women in a frail position. It's like, we must always be nice to people no matter what, or they'll call us bitches."
Indeed.:| And no laws against stalkers too, unless they physically hurt their targets. (Seriously, do we have to always wait until somebody gets either raped or killed??:|)
And just because you're a single woman doesn't mean you have to be desperate for a boyfriend and simply accept the stalker's 'friendly' invitation. I mean, come on. That idea just sounds too creepy for me. It may sound romantic to you to have a secret admirer at first. But please, I don't need a Phantom of The Opera. A normal, regular guy is enough.
"You had the right to say no and just ignore him," Nicholas had said the same thing last year. "You don't even need a reason."
Once again, indeed.
I watched an episode of "CSI:NY" last night about a stalker and his two female victims. Restraining orders didn't work for him, and one woman ended up going insane and killing herself. The other plotted to kill him, because he just wouldn't stop harassing her.
*shudders* Okay, enough about stalkers now. No more.:(

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