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2009-08-17 - 6:15 a.m.

There were actually two other people I'd have liked to attend Java Rockingland 2009 with:

1.TIGER!:D;)
(Too bad he's still miles away from here...:|)

2.Nanda.
(If I could still see him around, I know he'd love this too.:|*deep sigh* Wherever he is now, I hope he's okay.)

But anyway, at least I went with Gigi - and we really did have great fun together.:D I'd realized that I needed that, especially after all the 'unnecessary tension'. I didn't care about the price of the tickets. In fact, I'd bought for two days, knowing MR.BIG would be performing on Saturday night.:D It's my favourite rock band - and the last two times they were around for tours, I hadn't got a chance nor enough money to go!!
Too bad Gigi could only make it on one day. So, that Friday night (8/7), we really had fun. Melee made an impressive debut performance. Feeling too old to scream out the band members' names like most of their other teenage fans, I mostly sang along, clapped hands, and just analyzed their performance. Frontman Chris Cron plays guitar, plays piano, and sings. Multi-talented. I'm sure he writes most of the songs too, and I guess that's just what most front figures in the bands do.
Of course, all audience sang along to their most popular hit "Built To Last". Whee!:D
And Vertical Horizon was amazing too that night!:D It was like, they haven't aged a day. Some of their popular songs simply brought me back to college days, like: "Everything You Want", "You're A God", "We Are", "Best I Ever Had", "Send It Up", "My Shackles", and even "I'm Still Here." We all sang along once again.
The show ended at one am.
It was a good thing Gigi's boyfriend Nanang wanted to pick her up and bring his friend Hendrik along to drop me off at home. Four of us spent some time at the crowded beach. (Ancol is in North Jakarta.) I noticed there were still many people around. Some were even swimming!:O Honestly, I was curious about the experience, but more unsure to deal with the chilling, salty water. Besides, I wasn't there for swimming in the first place anyway.:P
We rode to my house first. All the way across the main road of Harmoni, I was stunned to see dozens of call-girls prowling on the sidewalk - obviously waiting for clients.:O
"Amazed?" asked Hendrik with a sly grin. "I take it this is your first time out this late."
Hmm, not exactly - but not around this area, I silently noted.
By the time they dropped me home, it was already three am. I went straight to bed and fell asleep immediately, silently wondering if I could get up for my nine am class.*yawns*

Saturday (8/8). I only slept for three or four hours. Wow. It was a miracle that I could still teach in the morning.:O (Lucky for Gigi, though, her students canceled their appointment so she could go home and back to sleep.:P)
And I even managed to attend Grandpa's birthday in Veteran. But before that, there was this text while I was teaching:

"Sorry for the ridiculously late notice, but would you like to have lunch today? I leave tomorrow and I would like to see you again before I leave, if possible."

No. No, no. No, no, NO!
:'-(...
God, how could he do this to me? And why the hell did I (have to) feel so bloody disappointed and sad all over again?
I called him immediately after class, ordering myself to get a grip.
"I'm afraid I have to say no," I drawled. I tried to sound cold and uncaring, but sadness took control of my voice effortlessly. "Grandpa's birthday is today and I'll be heading to a rock concert tonight. With friends."
"I know," he sighed dramatically. "I should've asked you this earlier. Stupid me I forgot. So sorry."
Then why didn't you? I'd wanted to yell. It always hurts to know how easy you are to be forgotten by someone you've actually grown to care about more than ever. It doesn't seem fair, because in the end - you'll just have to kill it and slowly torment yourself in the process. But then again, that's just life, isn't that?
"No problem." I was trying to maintain my composure, because I didn't like what I saw in the mirror right in front of my face. I was - indeed - already crying silently. I hoped it was only lack of sleep. "Besides, this isn't real goodbye, right? We can still e-mail each other and meet on Facebook."
"Yes." Was there a trace of sadness in his voice too, or was it just my own exhausted mind playing cruel tricks on me again?
"Well, take care."
I barely kept up with the rest of our conversation until we finally hung up. Then I had to fight the urge really hard to destroy the mirror.
I hated it. I hated the way I looked. I hated myself for (still) feeling that way.
:'-(...
Goodbye...

That night, MR.BIG was AMAZING!:D They started with "Daddy, Brother, Lover, Little Boy" and "Take Cover". Paul Gilbert was back in the band, so that made it even better. I tried recording it for Gigi, since she couldn't make it. Yes, I went alone. I even had to lie to Mom, just so she wouldn't have to worry so much about me surviving the night all alone in Ancol.:(
Sorry, Mom - but I'm 27 now.
How did I get home this time? I waited until morning. I stayed up at one of the vendors around that area, sitting on their front porch while drinking coffee and reading a magazine under their light. After an hour before sunrise, I strolled around the beach. Lucky for me, the place was still overcrowded with people, so I was pretty safe until morning. Nobody noticed me that much. They'd probably be thinking I was searching for my lost group.
By the time I was finally on a bus home, it was already seven. I felt like a drunk with a terrible hangover.
Then I spent the rest of that Sunday...sleeping.
Was it all worth it? Hell, yeah. I didn't care if my first week at work was hell, fighting back the fever, the flu and sore throat caused by my allergy (the wind and the sand at night plus my exhaustion) - altogether!
Woohoo!!*big evil grin*

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