2009-03-10 - 8:28 p.m.
"You can only be your 100% self when you're all alone."
Otherwise, they will call you selfish. That's just the way the real world goes. Never believe it completely when somebody tells you that they love you just the way you are. (Billy Joel, please stop singing that ridiculously unrealistic love song!) That's not a 100% true. After all, we're only human. We have our own expectations over each other. We also know what happens when things just don't always turn out our way. We get disappointed.
The rethorical question is: How do we survive from that situation?
Foolishly (like any other kids in the world we were all once), I used to believe in 'unconditional love'. Now I spend my time laughing (sarcastically) at fairy-tales and stupid love songs. Why? I'm not really sure.
Maybe it still exists, but that doesn't mean it is always ours to keep. Besides, I don't really believe in 'unconditional marriage'. (Ha-ha!*big evil grin*) Like I've just said, we all have our own expectations.
--- // ---
"Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes,
even if it was for just one day?
Wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away?
Wouldn't it be good to be on your side?
The grass is always greener over there.
Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care?"
What would it be like to live in such ignorance over anything and anyone else in this world - even for just one solitary day? Would it somehow make us feel much happier, knowing that we wouldn't have to worry so much about a lot of things?
"You'd definitely disappoint a lot of people in your life," said my friend Via one day. I said nothing more after that but couldn't stop thinking about it. Gigi said I'm such a heavy-thinker I tend to grow early layers of white hair.:P *blushes* (She was just kidding, I know. It's just one of my 'misfortunate' genes.:|)
I remember one of the early episodes of "Heroes" in the first season. I was - and maybe still am - quite intrigued by what Linderman said to Nathan Petrelli (Adrian Pasdar):
If you were only allowed to choose one life to live - what would it be? A happy life, or a meaningful life? If you choose happy, you may continue living the rest of your lives in complete ignorance. But if you choose ignorance, you'll spend your whole life mourning and regretting the past - and worrying about the future.
Every choice has its consequences. Every word matters. Every second counts.
Where are we now? Have we somehow lost our chances to become better and make things right? Is it already too late? Is the damage too irrepairable?
How much do we really care about something if we say (and believe) that we do? There are so many times when words are just not enough. Mere words. But words are what our helpless selves can only give sometimes. Just words, nothing more. Not even ideas for possible solutions.
"Everybody's bitching 'cause the times are tough..."
---//---
"It's hard to love. There's so much to hate. Hanging on to hope, when there is no hope to speak of. And the wounded skies above say it's much, much too late. Well, maybe we should all be praying for time."
Sometimes it's much, much easier to just hate what you (don't even want to) know. Just put a permanent label on it and call it names. Bitch about it constantly. We think we can be (fair) judges over everything. It's a(n old habit) that dies hard, like a terminal disease ravaging our very hearts. Worst of all, in order to prove our point, we tend to provoke others to take our side - joining our fun little league. Big in numbers, the more the merrier. That way, we'll appear much stronger than we actually are in solo. That's okay, because we normally feel safer that way. Be one of the bullies so you won't end up being the easiest preys. Soon you'll forget just how small you really are. There are times when we just need to "impress" others more. Fake a little more to look your best. Either way, that's one way to survive. After all, nice guys (always) finish last. You do what you have to do to get you to the top.
What you do defines who you are. Your actions speak louder than you. Is it true that it also defines your people in the same community - like family, neighbourhood, school, religion, race, nationality, whatever? Shallow people think so. Sadly, they tend to make quick judgements over what they (can) only see in the surface. (Remember, there's more than meets the eye.) They don't even want to accept the complexities behind what's really happening in the world lately. They choose the easy way out: oversimplifying everything. They just know how to spread the hate. Worst of all, that's all they ever want to do. They will not back down until everyone completely agrees with them without further questions nor even doubts.
Silence is golden (although not all the time.) Let the dogs bark and just walk on. Sometimes it's the only way. Talking to a wall is useless. Pointless accusations will never end. There will always be more and more slandering. Leave it all up to God.
Maybe your action doesn't always define your kind in general (for it won't be fair.) But it does affect their reputation. It can also taint other people's rationality and perspectives.
Shallow people may think this argument is classic. They can think whatever the hell they like. Nobody's ever stopped them before. They don't matter, as long as you believe in God and just do your best for humanity.
Can we ever - and will we be able to - get rid of this old, nasty habit for good? Pointing fingers without really looking in the mirror first? Are we really who (we think) we are?
The Author
