2009-02-07 - 9:42 p.m.
"Fairy tales are made by those disappointed in real life."
Hehe, you can call that "a love-cynic's quote" / "a cynical quote".*big evil grin*
*giggles*
My best friend Hani worried about me after reading one of my previous entries.:P She thought I was a little too disturbed by other people's comments about my single status. Well, as a single, I am happy.:) I just can't stand them diving their noses down into my personal business. But again, that's how most (silly) Indonesians are.:(
Oftentimes, these people just can't tell the difference between caring and interfering. (But if they read this, I assure you that they'll be telling you that I am the one with the real problem here.*rolls eyes*) Maybe some of them just don't know how to be happy while they're on their own - which is really, really sad they're trying to drag other people down with them.
But again, I'm just a voice of minority in my country. In fact, I've always been.*shrugs* Well, so what if I'm 27 now? Big deal. I have a friend at work who told me she met her husband when she turned 35 and they're still okay. So???
Another insecure Indonesian told me that my real problem is my smart mouth. They said, most Indonesian men still feel insecure with smarter, more successful women than they are. (Well personally, I think it's their problem. Why should women always have to take the blame? It's just bloody ridiculous!*shakes head*)
If you think I'm such a man-hater here, then you're not seeing the bigger picture. My friend D told me that okay, for example - we women pretend to be a little not too bright just to make men feel safe. When they're attracted to us and we win their hearts - what happens next? We'll get married and have to pretend for the rest of our lives. Won't that be sick?
I just need to be with someone who can make me feel safe without having to turn me into someone else I am not. So what if it might take a lifetime? Society doesn't always create miracles or solutions. Want to know the sad thing about society? Since little girls, we've been doctrined to always dress prettily, act nicely - because (they say) we're meant to be seen, not heard. But at the same time, we're told to stay virgin until we're married. If something (bad) happens along the way, we're to blame for not being careful enough. If what we wear is (considered) too sexy, we're to blame for making the men lust after us. Sooo bloody typical.:(
In original Javanese tradition, women are hardly allowed to start everything first.*scoffs* (I guess that's why I'm considered not a very nice Javanese girl.*big evil grin* I'm a loud-mouth tomboy.) Including in marriage. It's like, we all must sit gracefully and wait to be saved - like all damsels in distress in typical fairy-tales.
But then, what happens when nobody comes and saves the damsel? She's to blame - again, for not being attractive enough. Then people start making her feeling guilty for not fetching a husband yet, although she's considered old enough already.
Just like what happens to some of my girlfriends who are still single in their 40's. Some of them are okay, some are eaten up by society's harsh labelling: "old maids". Yes, I've spoken on behalf of them, because it's always been easy for society to treat them as "social criminals" - without considering the mental wound they've all caused upon them.
Well, what about me? I'm not a damsel in distress. Once again, I vow to myself that I will survive - with or without any prince of dream coming true. Why?
I love him, but I never (want to) ask him to save my life. It's up to him, though.*shrugs* He knows I'm using my old pride here again to carry on.
The Author
