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2008-09-27 - 7:47 p.m.

Finally, a week of break from all the drudge work.:D I've finally got to do other things I've been wanting to do. Especially writing anything else beside the damn lesson plans, that is. Hehe.*big evil grin*
I know what they all may say. Keep yourself busy so you won't feel too empty. Try to have fun too by maintaining a good, healthy social life out there. (Trying? Okay, doesn't that sound a little pathetic here?*raises an eyebrow*)
*deep sigh*
Oh, well. Whatever.
How am I feeling today?:| I'm not really sure.*shrugs* I've just found out yesterday that I won't be able to continue my fasting for the rest of this week. Well, I've also just filled in one of those addictive quizzes on Facebook about "How Well Do You Know Yourself?"
And the result was quite surprising.:O It said: "Congrats! You know yourself like the back of your hand." Really??
Well, all I really know is that I'm confusing myself lately with a lot of things. I'm thinking too much, as usual. So that's why - once again I'm telling you - I need to write in here. My head feels like a nonstop, 24/7 lounge bar - even sometimes in my sleep. It's very active, yet also quite exhausting sometimes. I know I must be grateful with this fact, but sometimes I wonder if I've had too much sugar and caffeine in my already.:P
Well, I've heard that women must be very careful with themselves during their monthly-period. Scientists say that your depression level can increase dangerously than it normally does. You must watch out with what you eat and maintain your mood. I know that, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it well.
And also, I don't want to make it an excuse to justify my irrelevant emotional outbursts like most of my kind do.*big evil grin*
Once again, am I really okay?:-S It's funny that I ask myself that, really. Lots of stuff have been (and still are!) crowding inside my head, so that's why I sometimes - no, more precisely often - don't know where to start here. But, heck - as usual - I'll try.
I must get that teaching scholarship to USA. If I do get that, do I want to be posted in Minnesota? I don't know. Maybe. I'm not doing it for him, though (although honestly, it'd be kinda nice to see him again - whetever the result of it might be). There are other major reasons too. Mostly, I need to escape from things here. It's getting too crowded at home, if you know what I mean.:P It's not that I don't get enough privacy that I need. (In fact, I get lots!) Most of the time, they rarely ask questions about me - which is fine, I guess. Since G, I've become a rather quiet, distant stranger at home. (Am I to blame for that?) They're more interested in knowing how he is than how I am. Just like my sister, he's earned the spotlight effortlessly.
I can live with that. (Oh, really?*sneers at my own reflection in the mirror*) I mean, I've been - for the past one and a half years.
then, there's the treacherous Stupid Draft (RUU APP) the stupid government's been forcing to pass in this country.:x You may call me a coward for trying to run off like this, but an escape is just what I badly need these days. Hani said it was up to me. She - like most other braver women here - chose to stay and fight for such injustice...

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