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2008-06-26 - 9:25 p.m.

June 5, 2008 "Seemed impossible, seemed absurd
I didn't know you before
Kept my distance, closing in
I don't mind caressing your skin."

Am I still dreaming in my sleep? Have I woken up already? This all feels too surreal for me.
Those were my thoughts of the day. My head felt so much lighter, or maybe it was just because I didn't have to work anymore until next Monday. YAY! So I could spend more time with you. I'd surely call that a blessing.

"What did you say? What did you do?
Somehow, I feel I'm enchanted by you
Flying high, on a mountain high
Suddenly, you look as bright as the sky..."

Two cups of tea in the morning. Breakfast by the front porch of the house next-door. (Many thanks to Ummi!) This time, you picked the lontong sayur. It was spicy. I hoped you could take it.
We stopped by at Panglima Polim first to see Grandpa. I'd wanted to introduce you to him, but he was still asleep. So, we continued our journey to Kota - an older part of this city.
Too bad,we'd only gotten a chance to visit Bank Museum. I picked the wrong, boring museum for you to see. Sorry.
Then we had lunch at a Padangese restaurant nearby. You were a little surprised to see all food being displayed in the front counter. I only told you: "That's just how we do it here - to attract costumers."
"Oh," you exclaimed. "Interesting."
Yeah, interesting. You said that a lot about almost everything. (In fact, you still do.)
I'd wanted to show you The Historical Museum, but it was already closed at three. One of the staff offered us a private tour for a Rp.50,000 - but we knew better not to. Maybe next time,when it would be officially open.
Then we returned to Blok M. By the time we got there, it was already dark. You wanted something for dinner, so I suggested the food vendor in front of Asih Hospital - where The Almost Twins and I were actually born. Unfortunately, I picked the wrong place again. The rawon (a traditional East Javanese black soup with meat) didn't taste that good. Nor did the rice, you told me after that. Worst of all, the guy who sells it was acting really cheeky. Maybe because you're a foreigner - an American - that he thought you must've been rich enough to fill his pocket. He gave us ridiculously high price for the meals.
I hated that.
"I may not understand a word he said in bahasa," you told me on our way to Grandpa's house. I'd suggested going there because maybe we could get a free ride back home. "But from his expression, his tone, and his body language - I could tell that he was lying his ass off!"
"I know." And I'm so sorry. Damn.
"I'm sorry," you suddenly apologized. What? "I know it was because of me."
"What? No!" No way, man. You just apologized for neo-racism that guy had simply done to you. "I wasn't being careful enough. I'm sorry."
"That's okay. We can be more careful next time."
Indeed.

--- // ---

When we arrived at Grandpa's, it turned out that my sister was inviting us to join her, my brother, and...Gatot to have coffee at Gloria Jean's in Kemang. Knowing how the guys love smoking,I hesitated. You hate smoking. I asked you, but all you said was: "It's up to you."
"Look, if you're tired, we can call it a day and just go home now. It's okay."
You gave me your infectiously sweet smile. You know, the kind of smile that simply warms my heart and makes me feel so much lighter.
"I don't want to hold you back from spending some time with your siblings," you calmly told me. Once again, I felt so much lighter and my own smile just widened.
Aww, you're so sweet. I don't know why you just had this effect on me.
We really did spend time with The Almost Twins and...Gatot. I knew that things hadn't been easy for me lately. But with you around, I just felt so much better. A lot. Somehow, your presence has made me feel much calmer. That night, I didn't really care about my silent resentment over Gatot. I didn't care that we didn't end up at Gloria Jean's, but another food stall near my parents' house. I didn't care that Hani thought I was being a slight idiot for taking you to the wrong (and only one)museum that day. At least she sounded very happy to talk to you on the phone. (And you agreed with me that she always sounds bubbly.)
I only cared about you.
And I still do.

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