2008-04-17 - 3:23 p.m.
This will be the last entry for now. Why? The reason is always the same and also very simple.
I need a break from this. Yes, people. I really do. I need to write something else beside this. I must admit that sometimes --- venting out way too often and too much too can drain my creativity/creative energy --- or whatever that means.
Well, how long will I be away from updating entries here? It all depends on my mood, as usual. Usually, this will take about a month, but could be less. But don't you worry, people, for I'll always be back again.;) Soonest, I hope. In the meantime, I may show up once in a while to check out other entries.:) This has been more like a support group and a therapy for me.
Speaking of my mood, yesterday was strangely horrible for me.:( I'm well aware that it's just my 'time of the month' again, and I'm usually calm enough while dealing with my 'mood swings'. I mean, I'm supposed to do it well, but not yesterday, though. I was just sooo emotionally unstable, and I HATED IT!:x *deep sigh* It just took a whole lot in me to just appear calm on the outside, while I was silently crumbling to pieces. No kidding. Men can mock us women about that all they like, because they just have no idea. Thank God this never has to happen to them!:P
I've been quiet all yesterday. Too quiet, until Menti asked me in the morning what was going on with me. I shrugged it off, saying that it was just my stomach-ache. I'd rather keep quiet than snapping without a reason at all. Believe me, it's all for everyone's sakes!*big evil grin*
But worst of all, whenever I was all alone, I just couldn't stop crying. Why? If only I could put my finger on.:( It just happened. How crazy was that?
Since I also couldn't sleep well last night, I ended up texting Nick's cellphone:
"I'm still awake. I can't sleep. What are you doing there right now?"
Surprisingly (or maybe I shouldn't really be surprised at all, knowing what a real sweetheart he really is ;) ), he suddenly called. Just like that.:) I didn't ask him to (actually, I hardly do, although I really don't mind at all.) It was the most comforting eleven minutes I've ever felt in the wee hours.:D Just from hearing his sweet, soft voice on the phone --- and all of my invisible demons just vanished in the shadows. Me, the tomboy who always wants to appear tough (but I guess I'm not always that tough.)
I was finally able to sleep at two am.
And I had to wake up at six to deliver catering orders today.:| Despite still having the fog in my eyes (or perhaps it's from the heavily polluted air in Jakarta called 'smog' *rolls eyes*), I'm feeling much better today.:) My sanity has returned home.
Well, be sure to wait for my next adventures in life. Hopefully, my new job in the future won't eat up all of my precious time, because I still want to maintain my social life, have fun, and...write. Yes, I still remember my true purpose in getting a real, stable job for a while: to (financially) support my writing career more. After all, writing is my true passion.:D
Nick's also coming to Jakarta this June.:) I can't hardly wait!
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