2008-02-12 - 2:50 p.m.
1.If a complete stranger says they really want to get to know you, the most polite way is to do it face-to-face --- with a friendly smile, a civil attitude, and respect for personal space to keep you from feeling intimidated. Or, if it's by telephone or via e-mail address --- they must introduce themselves properly first, including informing you where they get your number and e-mail address from, and also letting you know their true intentions. As romantic as the whole idea may sound, not all secret admirers are safe. Please remember, this is not your favourite Hollywood blockbuster. If they intend on being mysterious in the first place, then you must question yourself about really trusting them.
2.If you're not feeling comfortable with them already, it's alright to back off and say no. Never feel bad about politely declining them and just moving on. For your own safety, ignorance is surely bliss. You have the right.
3.But if you're interested in finding out about them (especially if you love mystery-solving), don't do it alone. Notify your trusted friends, until you're 100% sure that the stranger you want to get to know is really safe --- even if your true intention is only to 'just' have fun. Remember to alert your local authority in case things get unexpectedly un-cool.
4.If the stranger claims that they receive your personal number and e-mail address from someone you already know, ask them to specify the name. If they won't or give you an unfamiliar one, never trust them again. But if they do, ask your mentioned friend for a valid confirmation. From there, you can tell if it's safe to acknowledge them as a new friend or not.
5.If your most polite rejection doesn't work, ignore them until they get bored. If they still have a life and call themselves 'normal', I'm sure they'll stop bugging you. But never let them make you feel bad for ignoring them. They have absolutely no rights in violating your privacy in the first place!
6.If it gets too much, you have no choice but to have to switch to a new number and e-mail address --- at least for a while until the terror stops permanently. If they still scare you in any way (like telling you they know where you live and will do horrible things to you and the people you care about), contact your local authority for further help and alert your family and friends. Make sure you also still have proofs (like un-deleted text messages and the copy of threat mails) to show them. Let the police do their job, while you might want to avoid going out alone for a while.
7.Mind your surroundings. Try not to reveal your most personal identity in public places so the strangers can also see (especially ONLINE!)
8.Know your neighbours. That way, you can get more help to watch over you.
9.Know how to self-defense is a very important bonus, because no one can always protect you 24/7.
The Author
