2007-04-12 - 9:29 p.m.
Yesterday, my sister called my brother sometime in the late afternoon. As usual, she'd asked for a ride home from work.*rolls eyes* (Btw, is it rude enough if I say that Dear, Obedient Brother's mostly been The Princess Brat's personal chaffeaur?:P)
Usually, Dear Brother is reluctant to say no, because --- well, he's always been a gentleman.:) (Thanks to Mom who's taught him well throughour the years, so he won't end up like...Dad.:|) But at that time, he said no. He had to pick up catering stuff at a client's.
In the end, The Princess Brat had to use a taxi from work to the restaurant. Surprisingly, Mom always had money to pay for her needs.:|
Does The Princess Brat take the bus too?:P The answer is...yes, but rarely. She uses The Trans-Jakarta bus to work and home. Other than that, she often hitches a ride on her friends' or co-workers' cars or takes the cab. More often...as already mentioned above, right in the first paragraph of this entry.*big evil grin*
She's a so-called diva, remember?*sneers* She's everything that I am not. And of course, I'll never be her in return. Thank God for that!
Come to think of it, there have been certain signs that showed our differences --- since we were kids. For example, our first day in...nursery school (did that really count?) Mom has told this tale a million times already, so I can remember it very well.*big evil grin*
My sister had cried, asking Mom not to leave her at her new school.:P It had taken a week for her to finally get used to her new school without having Mom wait for her.
Me?:P Mom said I'd just walked briskly to my new classroom without turning my head around or crying. Assuming I'd be okay, Mom went to work. But hours later, the teacher called her in the office to inform her that...I'd thrown up on my new desk. The next day and after? No problem.*shrugs*
*giggles* Okay, okay.:P I know that's not something to really be proud of, but that's not the point here. I'm sure you can tell what I mean.;)
*sighs* Alright, enough walking down on memory lane. It's time to return to reality.:P
Just this morning, a guy behind the cellphone counter about two houses from where I work told me that he'd noticed that somehow...I'd seemed to have lost more weight.*giggles* (No wonder, since I often frequent that place to get my cellphone re-activated.:P) Just when I smiled politely at him and thought: "Really?", he suddenly mentioned that I'd also seemed to be losing sleep for days.
*gulps*
No, I didn't snap at him or anything else like that. Don't worry.*giggles* But when I checked myself in the mirror, black circles were surrounding my eyes. Trust me, I don't need an eyeliner anymore.
I need a concealer.:( Too bad it's expensive. I'm not really into make-up that much, anyway.:P Heck, I'm a tomboy!*big evil grin*
Still, if it had been another girl noticing it, I'd have been okay.:| But if it's a guy (even some random dude you classify as a stranger on the street :P), that can only mean trouble.
.........................
Wait. Wait. WAIT!:x
Why am I suddenly being this self-conscious?:P
*rolls eyes*
Anyway, my brother's two best friends Ari and Indie (a couple now :P) came to the restaurant last night. Indie works as a journalist for...Playboy Indonesia. (It's still tough, even after the controversy caused by some highly extreme, political --- and also religious --- parties wanting that OUT of my country for good.:| Hypocrites.*rolls eyes*) She said I could try sending my short-stories for their fiction page, since she also knows I love writing very much. (Hmm, another challenge.*big evil grin*) She even gave me their January edition for free.:)
And I've just read it.:P It's pretty cool. I don't see any serious problem in it. (Or maybe it's because I am just an ordinary, 100% straight woman --- so I am not intrigued by the pictures.:P) The models are still properly dressed. No pornography, so what's the fuss?*rolls eyes*
Btw, I'd almost done something seriously stupid when I talked to Tiger again last night.*blushes* Come to think of it, I am still awfully embarrassed.
When he mentioned about his ex again, I couldn't suppress...my jealousy.:( I'd almost lost it, especially when he still unconsciously called me, "Sis."
Sis. As in "sister".
I know, I'm not supposed to be hoping for way too much.:( I mean, back then --- I didn't really mind him calling me that. (After all, we've been best friends, remember?:D) But now, it felt like: "Hey, what happened to his last confession about his real feelings for me? Was it just a mistake?" Confusing.:-S
"I didn't know it would affect you this much.:) Don't worry, I won't mention her again."
Shit.
I'd tried to pretend I was okay with that (God, this game is getting way too old here.:|) Especially when he admitted that yes, he still thought of her sometimes. He couldn't help it. It was a 2.5 year relationship, okay? Besides, he said he'd completely heal someday.
Soon, hopefully...:'-(
I logged off after saying goodbye to him and...cried myself to sleep again.:'-(*blushes* God, I still love him. Why couldn't I control myself? Why didn't I??
This morning, I woke up early and logged on again. I'd just left Tiger an offline apology message, claiming my exhaustion from work as the cause for my cryptic responses --- when he suddenly came online again.:D He said it was okay. Then we talked again. He told me about how he was so relieved that it was finally over, because that silly bitch had somehow terrorized him on the phone --- along with her new boyfriend there. (Duh, what for?*rolls eyes*)
Good.:| I'm glad.
"I can't name just how many times I've already disappointed you.:("
That's already forgiven.:) Because you know why? I love you.
The Author
