2007-02-25 - 7:06 p.m.
I've checked the online result for Trans-TV's last interview yesterday on their official website.
I didn't find my name.
You might wonder why I hardly feel sad...like, at all. Surprisingly, no. I'm not feeling all happy too. Actually, it's kind of hard to describe. Relieved is probably the closest to match. Strange but true. Perhaps I'm also feeling rather numb. So-so.
See? Confusing.:P
I've also noticed that their second announcement for the result will come on March 12, at nine pm. I'll check that out too.*shrugs* But hey, I still believe I'll get something more and for the better in the future soon. I'm no quitter, remember? Besides, Tiger often says that only cowards who quit easily. Honestly, I'm always afraid to be one.:|
"It's normal to be afraid, but don't ever let that make you a coward. It's alright to have doubts, but don't be indecisive. We're always allowed to take our time, but never waste it."
And I wish I could remember where I'd ever heard that from.:P
Pretty tricky, huh?*big evil grin* It's not easy to find balance --- that something-in-between, I must admit.:( But I also still believe that it's not impossible.
I'm not going to just sit around and wait until March 12, though.:P I don't want to act desperate, as if my entire life really depends on it. I'll just keep trying and doing something.
That's why I've already sent my CVs to Media Sino and SPICE!:) I remember January 12 when I first visited Media Sino with the rest of SPICE! crew and readers. It almost felt like love at a first sight.:P It's sort of like a post-production house/studio, because they do dubbing, translating, captioning(subtitling), and distributing foreign films to my country here.:D
And SPICE!?:P I'll say no more about it. I just love that magazine because it definitely suits my idealism.:) I hope I'll get a job there.
Last night, my family and I attended my sister's lifetime best friend Hermin's wedding reception in Mulia Hotel, Senayan, South Jakarta. (Why did I just say 'lifetime'?:) Hermin and my sister have been best friends since grade school.) Hermin's more like a royal princess here, because her family's very, very rich. So is her husband Omar's. So, it was practically like a royal wedding. The tasty food (sushi and warm chocolate cake plus vanilla ice cream and sweet pastries too, yum!:P), the cool jazz band (my brother's friend Affa played violin in it :D), everything.
I'd planned to wear my new, red kebaya outfit (Mom had insisted long ago that I should've had another, so she'd asked my sister's favourite tailor Mas No to make that for me.:D) Unfortunately, my one and only crimson corset didn't fit well like it used to. In fact, it got too large on me!:O
"Oh, my God!" Mom had exclaimed in amazement. "You lost weight!"
I did?:O Did I?? Did I???:D
THANK GOD!!:D
I could hardly believe it until I checked it with the scale. Since high-school, I'd been mostly stuck to 150 lbs (for a 5'05 ft. Asian girl, trust me --- that's already considered overweight. My own doctor told me. My heaviest weight so far had been 160 lbs!:|) Through college, I gradually droppped it to 145 and 140 lbs after graduation --- with food combining and countless long walks. I even tried my best not to bother with it way too much anymore.
I'm now...138 lbs.:D I know it's still a long way to go, because a girl my height is supposed to be around 120 - 130 lbs. But at least it's still a progress, eventhough pretty slow.:P
And I feel much lighter and healthier too.:D
When I finally showed up at Hermin's wedding, wearing my pair of black trousers, maroon blouse, and a pair of black, high-heeled flip-flops --- my sister's friend and co-worker Bianca half-teased me, "Come on, girl. Not another tomboyish outfit again!"
*giggles*No choice.
Alright, no more rant for today.:P Enough.
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