2006-11-14 - 7:23 p.m.
Ki showed up again last night!:D I was sooo happy to see him and talk to him again. He's such a fun friend to hang out with. I've been silently depressed lately (lots of things to mention as the cause these days, including the unexplainable ones :|), so his presence somehow brought the laughter back in me.
We had late dinner in the restaurant before I closed it at nine. Bapao with chicken and paprika.:) I love hanging out with him and talking to him, because mostly it's about real life and the bitchy sides of things we still get to snicker and laugh bitterly at --- not merely light stuff like celebrity gossips. I mean, after all --- we're no longer teenagers anymore. As sad as it still feels sometimes, we must face reality.:( No other choice.
Reality.:( Reality's a real bitch at times. Well, that's just life.*shrugs* Shit happens. You can't always get what you want, no matter how hard you try and how greedy you can be. So please, don't be such a spoiled brat about it.:| You just do what you can. You can also get from what you give, but not always the kind you expect.
*deep sigh* Shit, why the hell do I feel like crying now?:( Why am I still feeling this bitter? I'm desperately longing to shake off these nonsensical blues...for good, hopefully. I'm longing to be strong all over again, back to the old me. Back to my old innocence and childlike moments, when love was only a series of stupid illusions created by stupid fairy tales I could simply giggle and joke about. Back to the times when I still believed I could just defeat any ghosts easily --- only with my own magic.
But I know, those are only my wishful thinking.:| My magic has been automatically kept in a small box as I grew up, somewhere deep in the back of my jaded mind. I badly want to grasp for it and open it these days, because I think that can possibly heal me. I think that can help me heal this unexplainable pain inside. I seriously need to be healed.:(
*sighs* Oh, well. At least I'm grateful that Ki had kindly walked with me to the nearest bus stop last night after work. It was such a nice feeling to have at least a friend aside to talk to all the way, down that long road in a quiet night.:) Not just safe (since I'd joked: "Thankfully, at least you're still a guy on the outside!" and my gay friend just laughed), but it also saved me pretty much from...boredom.*giggles*
Okay, I must admit that being alone (especially way too often like I am these days :|) isn't always that pleasant. It sucks, but at least you're still free to decide.:P Heck, that's the only advantage I know.*shrugs*
This morning, two things have somehow ruined my mood.:x First, it was the lazy bum in my neighbourhood named...Alul. He onced tried to bully me by asking me to buy him a pack of cigarettes.*rolls eyes* Everyone who owns a small shop in the neighbourhood has already warned me about his bad habits, so I feel like always wanting to avoid him the best that I can. Matters aren't really helped with the fact that he still lives two houses next to mine with his parents (who happen to be a nice old couple, unlike their idling, jobless son.:|)
Unfortunately, just as I was out of my house, he was already standing there and noticing me (duh!*rolls eyes*) I'd already quickened my pace and pretended not to notice him, but it was no use. He was quicker enough to catch up with my utterly small steps (he's taller and bigger too, ugh!) He started asking me questions like where I'd be going today and where I worked. I panicked for a second there, but managed not to show it. My eyes quickly darted for any perfect distraction or even escapade, until I noticed little Alfie (the baby boy of my other next-door neighbours Bang Uhay and Mbak Sari:D). The cute toddler was trying to reach out for his fallen hat, so I helped him. Then I was busy talking to Alfie and his mother there, completely ignoring Alul still standing behind me.:P Soon, he finally gave up and backed off. Good.:| At least he was still smart enough to take the hint. I could continue my pace to work peacefully, even with him eyeing me from the distance.*scoffs*
Second, I just found out that my very, very aggravating uncle 'Buto Ijo' had unwrapped the plastic that covered one of the business magazines SWA on the selling display in the restaurant --- without telling anyone there!:x It was obvious that he'd only wanted to read for free, but just didn't re-wrap it back with the same plastic when he returned it. Worst of all, the plastic wrap is also gone!
Grrrhhh!!!:x
*huffs* I hate this.:x I hate him. I'm sorry, but I still really do. I hate him for acting utterly selfish and childish for a man his age. I hate him for being careless, ignorant, and insolent. I hate him for his irky attitudes, pretending he's rich and a know-it-all, while the truth only shows that he often sleeps over at Grandpa's when he has no place to stay while he's in Jakarta and he knows no shit. I hate him for treating his nice ex-wife like shit, although she's always been helpful with his financial situation.*rolls eyes* He's jobless. His second wife in Bandung doesn't really know that, and I feel sorry for her.
I hope Ki will show up again tonight, just as he promised me.:| I need someone like him to cheer me up. He's such a fun, witty personality.:)
*sighs*
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