2006-09-11 - 7:02 p.m.
You know, eventhough I'm not an American, this 'particular' date has had some effects on me too.:| To this day, I find myself looking back over my shoulder, to the year 2001.
It was the day that --- not just had shocked me entirely --- but also had opened my eyes to a new, bitter reality.:( The TV news about the whole tragedy had been very scary, heartbreaking, and also gut-wrenching. A lot of people --- especially in my old college campus in University of Indonesia, Depok back then --- had been talking about it. I remember worrying about my best friend River in Syracuse, NY. I remember feeling sooo relieved when he'd finally replied my mail.*sighs*:)
Then there were the harsh accusations.:( Suddenly, all fingers were pointing at...my people. My kind, my religion. Get it?? Then there were other wars that I wouldn't even want to mention here...at all. I found my heart broken. I was even personally offended when my country was (and sadly, still is :|) labeled as 'the lair of the terrorists'. That hurt. The travel warnings? *sighs*
But sadly, I had no other choice but to at least (try to) accept that fact.:( Luckily, when I'd asked River if he'd still have wanted to be my friend, he'd said yes.:) He'd even told me that he believed not all people from my kind were like that. I'm glad.
*deep sigh*
I hate politics.:( Every word can be twisted and every back is potentially stabbed. Is violence ever really necessary? I believe that the only sensible violence is the self-defense when you feel threatened or even attacked first. But I don't like it when innocent citizens --- those who have no idea what your problems with your opponents are --- become victimized as well. Don't people even appreciate the true honour of a single duel anymore?:( The 'one-on-one' fight??:x
Does racism even ever do us good, even for the racists themselves? They have no idea of the painfully long (and even often lasting) effects it gives people. Just prejudice, anger, hatred, insecurity, and mostly pain. That hurts.:'-( You can wonder why Klu Klux Klan and apartheid have made some of the blacks feel traumatized and heavily suspect the whites. Does it make sense? A group from a race/religion is treating other people bad, and it simply (normally and naturally as well) makes the victims --- and even the families and friends --- tend to generalize that certain group. It's like, "I bet all of you are just the same, because some of you have treated me bad."
:'-(...I don't want that. Never...
Now I'm well-aware that nothing is ever really safe anymore.:( Everyone can be the bad guy and conquer others. Terrorism can be found here, there, and everywhere.
Because of these blind fanatics who believe causing other people pain will win their sick, twisted game --- my best friend Tiger still cruelly gets judged.:( You see, just because of his entire identity, his girlfriend's father still hates and disapproves of him.
Can their love really win? Will it find a way to soften him up?
I hope so.:| I want it too.
The Blue Author
