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2006-08-29 - 7:02 p.m.

There have been problems in one section at Dad's old work-place in South Jakarta (coincidentally, the section where he once worked). The last operational manager was fired for corruption, and the higher boss from Singapore has stepped in to clean up the remaining clutters --- but turns out he's having more than he can really handle. Knowing Dad's old experiences long ago, he offered him his old job back. But, guess what?:( Dad hesitates, not having confidence at all. There are always his super lame excuses, like waiting for them to call him for a direct confirmation (for what?) or fear of facing new problems he might not be able to understand (a.k.a.the jitters). Again, Mom's pushed him to move forward instead of just staying still and doing nothing but thinking endlessly. I guess that's what happens in your life somehow gets too stagnated for that long.
My sister's comment about that was quite cruel: "If he wants to feel safe all the time, then don't take the job.":x
Me? I just have nothing to say. Besides, what for? That's no use. I'm seldom heard.:( But I still worry about a lot of things these days. I worry about my brother's future and his expensive college tuitions. I also still worry about this country's political situations.:( I hate it when society is full of hypocricy. I still fear and deeply loath The Stupid Draft (RUU APP). If the whole bullshit's going to blow, you can surely imagine what's going to possibly happen to the women in my beloved country.
In Tangerang and some other local areas here, women who happen to go out at night --- especially alone --- still get arrested and deemed as prostitutes, thanks to their utterly discriminative county laws. Thankfully, in Jombang, an independent human rights organizations and hundreds of activists for feminism have been vocalizing their protests against The Stupid Draft and other related laws. But, fearing the misogynicism might possibly spread nationwide, how long do you think we might last?:( September's coming soon, and The Fasting Month will show up somewhere in the middle of it. Some of the so-called holy saints here believe it'll be the right time to spread their sujectively 'holy' mission.*rolls eyes* Terrorizing and vandalizing others they see as 'different' (and 'wrong', only in their utterly shallow opinions) are their favourite activities. They're pointing their human fingers around, playing God by simply believing they're better than the rest. They're accusing others as immorals, as simple as that. Again, I'm telling you, this is not about certain religions, but more of hiding their insecurities and also greed for money and power.:(
Mom, my sister, and I are working-women outside our house (and we have accepted the fact that we cannot rely on Dad anymore. But, does the government ever really give a shit about...something like this? Do they care about single mothers who struggle for the better lives of their kids at home by working day and night, only to find shallow people accuse them as prostitutes?*scoffs* No.) If The Stupid Draft is legalized, they're possibly going to treat all of us working-women as whores (when all we do is normally surviving for life.:|) After six pm onwards, all women in public places can possibly be deemed as whores, regarding The Stupid Draft's tricky words with utterly twisted meanings. Let's say, if you're just holding hands in public with an opposite sex ('though he/she may be just your sibling or else, but plainly innocent), a moral police's going to come over and ask if you two are married or biologically related. That's right, people. They'll be meddling in your personal business --- totally uninvited. If you kiss your spouses in public, they'll consider it a crime. A hug? Don't ask.
In other words, no privacy. Ridiculous, isn't it?:(
What I still despise the most from The Stupid Draft are the sentences for a rapist and a woman who is (considered) inappropriately dressed (and the exact standard is still a blur. Shorts and mini-skirts? Short-sleeves or sleeveless? Backless or tight-fitting outfits? Regular tees and jeans?? Tricky.*scoffs*)
The sentence for a rapist: only three years in jail.:'-( The sentence for a woman who is (considered) inappropriately dressed: five years in jail!:x
*scoffs* Scary, isn't it?:| s a red-blooded woman, I'm more furious and personally insulted by all that crap. But I'm already way too numb to even cry anymore. I've shed my tears before. Enough. It's time to do something more about it. I'm still searching for a much better solution for a much safer life I believe all women --- especially me --- truly deserve.
*deep sigh* Sometimes, it's just luckier to be a guy, isn't it?*smiles sheepishly* You don't have to be this afraid most of the time. You'll always get picked and trusted to take the lead and still earn respect, no matter what you do. You can always win the fight. Lucky you...
I'm sorry.:( Please, forgive me, God, especially for asking this question all my life: is this my fate? Will I ever get my share of the morning glory? I just want to feel safe, without having to get myself (locked up) indoors. I just want them all to leave me alone, that's all. But why won't they?:'-(
Am I asking this for too much? I need my real, morning glory...here, there, and everywhere...as a human being, without being treated like a mere object who has no brains and even feelings...:(

The Hurt Author

 

 

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