2006-08-25 - 7:36 p.m.
There's something seriously wrong with my right eye.:( It's been red and sore for the past three days --- right after my pox week. It's still badly bloodshot now, I'm afraid I might possibly scare off some costumers here at work if I stare at them way too long.:O You know, the kind of red, bloodshot eyeballs you usually see in horror flicks...*big evil grin*
*giggles* Hehe, sorry. I guess this is just the kid in me acting out again. But sure, this does feel good for my mental health too.;) I've learned that if you take life too seriously at times, you'll just lose the fun of it. You'll age quite rapidly and that's just scary --- right on the inside and out. That's no fun.
Alright, I know that none of us can ever really avoid growing up and getting old.:P That's just a common fact we must accept. No plastic surgery can ever really cover up the real thing. Life goes on.
But I just like to keep my inner child.:) I believe the reason why some grown-ups feel their lives are too boring and less creative is because they don't want to allow their inner child to stay with them. They think growing up means ditching it for good. You have to always be serious, calm, cold, calculative, flawless, close to perfection, and all that stuff.*rolls eyes*
Maybe true, but is it wrong to act silly once in a while? Forgetting you're no longer small and just having fun. Blowing bubbles and eating ice cream. Having your imaginary friends (just not talking to them while you're in front of other people, or else they'll call you delusional.:P) Lightly strolling in your favourite sneakers or flip-flops instead of loafers and high-heels...:) Anything that can make you smile and forget all your troubles for a little while...
But of course, if you're in this way too deep, you'll risk yourself being thought as naive and gullible, thinking you can turn back time. A childish character with a Peter Pan syndrome in a world of adults.:P
*sighs* Oh, well. *shrugs* We just can't have it all, can we?:) Still, this is a good outlet whenever I get bored just being a grown-up who has to act certain ways like the real world always expects me to.:|
Speaking of my still bloodshot right eye, I might not visit a doctor for it.:( I'm scared of the health bills, that's all. Just a drop of Visine, and I hope it'll come back to normal.
Right, where was I?:P I'm often genuinely surprised when even someone still wants to take their precious time reading my sometimes foolishly, long-winded entries here.*giggles* For that, I hope I'm not distracting any of them from other important stuff and I also thank them for that. I wish I could do the same...*blushes and looks down*
Well, most people in the real world I know often see me as this confusing person.:P I've written here so many times before here that Dad always thinks of me as a freak (no surprise!:P) Mom even worries I might end up like Dad ('though I've convinced her many times already that no, I won't. I'm still different.:P)
The Almost Twins?? My sister often waltz through life easily and with less trouble than I do, but I guess that's just her fate. I'm always the silent rebel, not exactly a good girl who gets good grades in school and dates nice boyfriends and has an excellent career. I'm the curious cat with her claws ready, trying out her luck many times and preparing herself to face danger as well.
My brother thinks I'm crazy, but at least he still appreciates my creativity. He's also into art and a sweetheart too.:)
My friends?:) Only some who really know me, and even a few who truly appreciate my childlike side (you know, the kind who won't say irritating stuff like: "Please, grow up!" in a most annoying way --- as if they're better than me.*rolls eyes*) Even Tiger often reminds me that: "It's not that bad being a freak, because that's what makes you brave and unique."
........................
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!*blushes*
Speaking of my inner child and creativity, I think I'll need it the most again these days --- or else I won't have the magic.:P Mom's old friend from the office has a cousin who's also a popular, local movie director.:D*gasps* That guy (her cousin, I mean) has already directed horror and teen flicks --- and numerous music videos here.
He's working on another horror movie project right now.:D I don't know when he'll have a spare time and be available, but Mom's friend promised to take me to him once there's a chance.
Which means I must prepare a stock of ideas for any potential movie script.:D I hope this time, I won't get rejection like the previous project with my friend Tio from a local production house.:| Or better, if he's looking for a plain Jane as a cast, I can act well. Of course, I'm not Natalie Portman nor Hillary Swank, but I love challenges ('though I often wonder if I really look that good on camera.:P)
Okay, I'll stop daydreaming.:P*giggles*
The Childlike Author
