Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

2006-06-03 - 7:20 p.m.

The terror continues...:(
This time, it happened in Salemba, Central Jakarta --- right where The Faculty of Medical Studies in University of Indonesia is. (Note: there are two University of Indonesia's --- one in Salemba and another in Depok where I graduated.) I'm not sure if it were the same men, but the two were also bearded and dressed in white (including the turbans, of course.) This time, they attacked three college girls with similar, mental torture.:x A witness saw a police officer stopped by to break the fight. The two bullies quickly backed away and left after their threat: "Just you all wait until the draft is legalized!"
After they were gone, you should've seen those three girls. They were only wearing regular tees and jeans, and even one was in a decent shirt. Just what the hell's their problem?! They'd made the girls cry. They'd hurt their feelings very deeply with curses like "Immoral sluts!" and "You'll join the rest in hell!"
Want to know what I think?:x These bullies are simply being judgemental, perverted hypocrites and cowards. They're only attacking the ladies! I don't believe a certain religion should be carried on this way. I don't want to believe it.
THIS IS JUST SOOO FUCKING UNFAIR!!! WHY CAN'T THE PEOPLE IN MY COUNTRY JUST GET ALONG DESPITE THEIR DIFFERENCES, LIKE WE USED TO LONG AGO?!! WHY?!!!
:'-(...
*deep sigh* I know, it's no use just complaining in here.:( This won't solve a damn thing. I have to do something. Anything to keep me and my kind in our country from being more repressed than ever by those stupid, STUPID rules. The sad thing is, there are also women who agree.:( Women in 'their' community.
Whether brainwashed or else, I don't care. It's just up to them to stay extreme and obedient to their men unconditionally. I just want those people to respect others with different beliefs and opinions and such. I want them to play fair and not be judgemental and harsh. That's all.
And I want those bullies to just leave me alone, day and night. I'm emotional. I'm temperamental. I'm also tad impulsive, which makes me tend to react quickly at times --- especially when I get threatened or hurt.
These days, I'm just so full of rage it hurts so much more. Although I'm not exactly like Carrie (I'm sure whoever reads Stephen King's stuff knows what I'm talking about:P), right now --- I just can't guarantee the safety of those people, if they really want to get personal with me.:| I'm sorry, but people like them aren't leaving me any choice. Mess with me and be sorry, or just leave me alone. That's all.
I swear to you, if some of them attack me verbally because of something I wear --- I'll just fight them back. I don't care if I'll still live to tell or not; I'm just defending my human rights --- and I'm not (supposed to be) afraid of them.:x They're not my gods. I don't owe them my life, my freedom, and my everything. No.
If some of them are using their overly-simplified excuses to attack me sexually (but may God forbid that'll never have to happen to me --- no way!:|), then trust me...they won't live that long.
I will kill them myself, in the name of self-defense. I'll kill when I have to, when I'm forced to. I'm not afraid to go to jail. It's a matter of defending myself as a woman. A woman is also a person, you know?:( Why can't they just respect us equally?
Why won't they?:'-(
Once again, do you believe I can be this brave?:)
No.:( I'm just as fragile as anyone in the world can be. I just don't want to appear too scared. Because, once your enemies sense a sign of your weakness, they'll use it to destroy you. You'll get easily intimidated.
In other words, you'll be just as good as dead.
I'm not the bravest nor the strongest alive, but I refuse to be such a weakling coward. Weakling cowards and hypocrites (especially the perverted ones like those who agree with this stupid draft in order to repress women a lot more) don't get any respect from me. They're just hiding their insecurities by playing God and pointing their human fingers around, acting as if they're better than the rest. Bullies. Vandalists...:(
*deep sigh*
Oh, my God...:'-(

"People told me that it's impossible
to be respected and be a girl..."

Is it true?:( Is it really true?
I talked to Edith and Tiger again through IM.:) They're really my good friends. They've cheered me up.
Edith said life in my country these days felt like a movie.*giggles* Yeah, maybe so. But the truth is, I just want my normal life back.:| I don't have to play the starring role or be the centre of attention, but at least --- as a woman, as a regular citizen, and as a human being/a person --- I get to feel safe and unharmed in my own country. I get to be respected.
Once again, I must ask the world this:
"Is that TOO MUCH to ask?!"
I was also pretty glad last night when I've finally cleared a minor misunderstanding with Tiger.:) He's now understood my point of view. I'm not bitching about my own country. I just can't stand these bullies, some so-called moral police they are.:(
What am I to do now?
I want to join the action against these bullies (and their stupid new draft of bills) but without having to jeopardize my own family.:( I must be extra careful not to have them terrorized by these blind fanatics, in case I get out in the open and fight...

The Furious Author

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!