2006-05-08 - 7:08 p.m.
I'm tired.:| My poor head is still filled with heavy thoughts. Everyday, I still seriously pray that my worst nightmare won't ever come true --- nor this June or else. I desperately hope my worst fear won't ever be realised by my government's stupid ideas --- repressing my kind by telling them what to wear, what to do, what to consume, and how to act properly. I want all women in the world to still be able to go out --- especially alone and at night --- without having to be harrassed or even getting killed.:( I want us to feel safe, because this earth is (supposed to be) ours too.
Once again, am I asking way too much? Because, even without my government's new draft of bills for "Antipornography" here, things will never change that much.:( They stay the same. Women and children are still the main victims of violence and trafficking. In my country, women are still to blame in almost everything.:'-| I hate this. It's not fair!
*deep sigh* God, why does this keep happening?:'-( I'm scared. I'm completely enraged!
Oh, well. I should stop giving this headache to myself. I must stay calm. Tiger's right. Everybody's right. I'm still immature, despite my age.:( But do you know something else? All my life, I've never ever really wanted to hurt anybody --- or even stepped into other people's privacy. That's why it hurts so much when I get angry. The worst part is, it often hurts me more than ever. Grudges are only some of my unnecessary collections I must seriously get rid off. Ha! Easier said than done.
Anyway, I still wish for the best. You see, I'm not into tight-fitting clothes that much (especially since I'm overweight), but I never judge girls who love wearing them. I can still get along with them and be myself at the same time. I also know not every guy gets easily lured by girls in tank tops and mini skirts.:P
That's why, I don't understand why my country's government is making such a huge issue/big deal/fuss about it. We've been pretty much okay living together with our differences in the same country for years before. Besides, there are still other more important things in my country, like: poverty, famine, illiteracy, unemployment, crimes, domestic violence, corruption...
*giggles sarcastically* Okay, I'm getting more anxious and depressed living here. The question is, wherever I am, will I be able to stay alive and sane at the same time?
Hehe, that also reminds me of Tiger's girlfriend's tricky question:
"If living is insanity, then is dying insane?"
*big evil grin* Good question, girl. I still can't find the answer until now.:P Does that feel like a gambler's old coin trick --- "Tails I Live, Heads You Die"?
Oh, whatever. Life is still and always crazy. In fact, I think it gets crazier everyday --- but don't worry, I haven't lost my mind to commit suicide.:P
I'll just get myself free...or die trying...
The Author
