2006-04-16 - 8:24 p.m.
Things I dislike the most:
1.Being called 'fatso'.:x
Trust me, I'll never forget those ugly moments. I don't need to be reminded of that sad fact, because I'm already well-aware of my extra weight and my reality is harsh. The last random dude called me that, I'd almost beat the hell out of him. What an S.O.B.!
2.Failures and rejections.
Well, what do you know about failures and rejections?:x Tell me all about it. From school grades to popularity to job searches until...err, love (*rolls eyes*), you're talking to The Queen of Failures and Rejections.
3.The comparing game that always causes "Sisters' Rivalry".
My sister is who she is, and I am just plain me. She's more popular, prettier, and in a relationship now --- while I happen to be an independent, idealist freak. So deal with it and just please...quit this stupid game!
4.The fuss about my single status.
"How come you've never had a boyfriend yet?"*rolls eyes* Well, I just don't, alright? What's with everybody these days? I am not kidding myself. A relationship isn't just something to show off. I won't have just for the sake of having it. Besides, I haven't really met a guy who really wants to date me anyway, so it's actually not a matter of life-and-death. So far, I'm all alright with just me, myself, and I. Love is important, but dating is not the most earth-shakingly important thing in the world. It's not even my top priority now. It'll come, but please just don't blame it on me when it hasn't...yet. If you can't prove this love cynic that she's dead wrong, then please don't say a word about this.
5."You and everyone else..."
Never try grouping me with others (especially those I don't even know.) Although I often can't help it, I still don't want to be stereotyped or cathegorized. I am the one and only. Nobody I'd rather be.
6."What? Oh, nevermind..."
Say this too often, you'll just drive me crazy. If there's something you don't want me to know about, then don't even start talking about it and then end up cutting it in the end. It's not fair! I respect people's privacy and I don't like pushing people to tell. But too much "neverminds" makes me feel like a dumb, clueless kid who'll never know and understand anything. Will it hurt me if people come clean with me? Maybe, but at least they're being honest. I respect that more. And don't worry, arguing with me won't easily make me hate you, because people just have different perspectives. It's normal.
7.Being thought of as 'easy'.:x
Go ask around those who know me, and they'll tell you I'm difficult. Easy to judge sometimes (and look, I even admit that as one of my weaknesses:|). But I don't just trust everybody. If I believe someone deserves my trust, they'll get it. (And they'll know it when I show them my ugly sides.) But if they abuse my trust, just don't ever expect they'll get it back that easy. Call it holding grudges, but that's my other weakness.:(
8."You're always in your own little world.":|
Hello, haven't you noticed? I just don't fit in anywhere, no matter how hard I try.:( Btw, which standars of normalcy should I follow? Should I act certain way or just be another someone they'd appreciate or respect more? And why does it seem freaking hard to just be ME these days?:'-|
9."Please, grow up!"
Okay, so I refuse to kill my childlike side within.:( But I believe everyone has their own standards of maturity, and so do I. My own is: "Being fully responsible with every choice I make and every decision I take without blaming others." Besides, I've seen more grown-ups acting and behaving like little kids with tantrum these days. I don't want to fake my maturity, because I just don't want to end up as one of them. I want to do what I want to do, not because they tell me what to do. My choices, my life, my responsibilities.
10.My anger.
Sad but true, but this is just what I truly hate.:'-( It has destroyed more than ever and just hurt practically everyone I truly care about. That's why truly admire people who still stand by me these days throughout the years, eventhough I've been more than difficult and sometimes bitchy to deal with.
*deep sigh* Well, you've just seen the ugly side of me. Welcome to my not-so-perfect world.:(
Ms."I'm-Just-Not-So-Pretty" :(
