2006-04-13 - 7:47 p.m.
I don't know why, but I found myself a little annoyed with myself today.:| I've been wanting to buy a new novel this month (something to help me get over my blues and boredom, and just pass the time.) The first part that usually grabs my attention when it comes to buying a novel is: the summary on the back cover. Second is: the size of the book. The thicker it is, it's usually the better (but once or twice I'm fooled, because sometimes the content can get way too boring and I'm just stuck in the middle without wanting to carry on. I didn't finish Stephen King's "Bag of Bones", because it's too long and boring.*yawns hugely* But his other works like "Firestarter" and "Carrie" are cool!)
Third: the cover. And, if the bookstores allow the costumers to take a peek inside, four will be: the first line litmus (I'm proud to say I've learned this from my favourite literature site RYW:D) or even the whole first chapter.
(But, since the price of most books here are so damn expensive...*snifs*, sometimes I read for free whenever I have the chance --- either in a public library or even local bookstores!:| Sorry.*blushes*)
Okay, most of the novels I've just seen displayed today have the similar genre: ROMANCE!:x It's not that BAD, but I'm just really NOT in the mood to read anything like that these days. Teenlits, chicklits, all those juicy-happy-light love stories...:P
Right, I know I'm sounding bitter now.:P Ironically, I'm still working on my Teenlit novel. Oh, it is also about love, but much darker and sarcastic.
I just loaned some money for my brother, so he could go to Bandung for his vacation with his friends. The Solid Five on the road!!:P Meanwhile, I don't remember what real vacation really feels like these days, and I know I may sound awfully pathetic to you.:( Money's always the problem these days, and I'm so fucking sick of it! I'm already 'labeled' as the anti-social who doesn't go out a lot anymore these days. But I love my brother, so I'll have to make sure the nice kid still gets to have fun and doesn't have to suffer as much as I do. Maybe it's just my habit.*shrugs* I always want to take care everyone I care about. Is it my weakness? Does this make me somewhat naive and gullible?:|
I know I'm not supposed to bitch about my life way too much, because that's just all I've got right now and I must be good to myself. But there are times when I feel more like 42 instead 24, raising a son instead of taking care of my little brother. Thanks a lot, Dad.:(
I'm not allowed to be a pessimist here, ever.:P I must be strong, or else I'll get myself weak and easily trampled on. I can't quit now. I must keep looking for a better job.
Come to think of it, I think I've just made up my mind. I don't need to read love-stories these days. I don't need illusion, because I must face my reality and just deal with it. Pardon my cynicism, but all I need right now is MORE money.
The Love Cynic
